Torn
by Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs
Summary: Sequel to 'Broken'. Jenny and Gibbs are struggling with their new-found relationship while also dealing with flashbacks and almost-relapses when suddenly, Bobby's back. It can only get worse from there. Same warnings as 'Broken'. Fallen Dreams Trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome back! This is my first attempt at a sequel to something, and I hope that this lives up to expectations. Remember how I said I was going to try to pick up the pieces of my life? Didn't go so well, still working on it.

This story contains the same warnings as 'Broken'- major mentions of rape, cutting, abuse, depression, and suicide, but I'm hoping you all were expecting that.

I'm going to start by saying that updates will not be fast at all to begin with. I have band, and work, and getting ready for school. It doesn't help that I have no home computer (I'm posting this from work), so that poses a major problem. Once things have settled down in around mid-September I'll hopefully be able to commit to writing a little more (emphasis on hopefully- I have college applications and visits, and a bunch of other fun, senior year-related stuff, and the whole computer issue). But for now, tell me what you think about the start!

What would have been the significance of today, August 10th, is known to three people (including myself), that will read this story. I'm not going to say what it is, but those two that do know, just keep it in the back of your mind as you read, please.

For Evelyn, because she's my love bug, and I'm her hardcore punk rocker.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot. Any original NCIS characters belong to Don Bellisario.

_"I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. You're a little late; I'm already torn," –'Torn', Natalie Imbruglia [Love this song. She is incredibly beautiful, and this song fits this series perfectly. And, well, it was awesome that I had a song that has the same name as the title!]_

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><p>One week.<p>

It had been seven days since Jenny had taken Jethro to Lizzie's grave; it had been five days since Maddie had been released from the hospital and into her aunt's care. Two days since Rudi Haas had been convicted of rape and sentenced to prison; nine days since everything had changed.

Currently, Jenny was in her study, a worn cardboard box on her desk. Digging through the box, she unearthed a tattered index card, a slightly-triumphant smirk on her face.

"Gotcha," she said, setting the card on her desk. Written on the card was both the office and cell number of Alexis Adams, and Jenny knew it would mean a lot to Patricia if she at least called her former therapist.

Now, the only problem was working up the courage to actually call the woman, who Jenny seriously doubted would remember one of her many patients from two decades ago.

After staring at the card for over five minutes, trying to weigh the pros and cons of calling in her mind and basically failing, she just pulled out her cell phone and punched in the office number before she lost her nerve. But, the number was disconnected, and Jenny almost gave up right then and there, at least now being able to say that she tried.

But she knew that she couldn't let Patricia-and Jethro, at that-down with her absymal effort, so she dialed the cell number and waited, her heart in her throat. A number of rings later, voicemail picked up, and she let out her breath when she realized it actually was Alexis' voice speaking.

"Hi, Alexis…this is Jenny Shepard. I don't know if you remember me at all, but I used to see you about twenty years ago. I was wondering if you were available to talk, or if you could at least direct me to someone that could help. Please call my cell back when you get this. Thanks."

Jenny's heart was racing when she hung up after leaving her message. It had been a long time since she'd actually admitted to needing help, save for the past week and a half, with both Jethro and Patricia- and this week had been very uncharacteristic of her. It had been something she'd thought she'd left behind her.

"Jen?" she looked up at the sound of Jethro's voice, and the front door shut loudly behind him as he walked towards the study. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Looking for a number; I promised Patricia," Jenny replied, and understanding washed over his face.

"Well, didya find it?" he asked, and she nodded, slipping her phone back into pocket as she stood, rounding her desk. Reaching his side she kissed his cheek lightly, her hand slipping into his. "Good."

"I'm having Patricia and Ashley over for dinner tonight; would you like to join us?" Jenny asked, walking with him out of the study and into the kitchen. "I understand if you don't want to be in a room full of estrogen, however."

"I happen to like Patricia, for your information," he said, and she raised an eyebrow, casting her eyes at him over her shoulder as they walked. "And I'd like to meet Ashley."

"Well be prepared for an…interesting evening," Jenny said, and he merely smirked, amusement in his feature.

"With you I've come to expect nothing less," he replied, and Jenny rolled her eyes.

"Did you call Maddie?" she asked when they reached the kitchen and she pulled out a pitcher of iced tea, pouring herself a glass. Her lover gave a nod, his face darkening slightly.

"She had a check-up, looks like the baby is okay," he replied, leaning back against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest but his fists clenched. Jenny knew how much it hurt him to know that Maddie was in such emotional pain and he couldn't fix it, but Jenny had been to the place where the younger woman was now. There were no easy solutions, and a lot of work would have to be done on Maddie's part to get back to a new sort of 'normal'.

"And how is she? How is staying with her aunt?" Jenny asked, gently pushing him towards another part of the subject.

"She's got a new therapist, thinks this one will help," he replied as he shifted uncomfortably, making Jenny sigh internally. This was a whole new frontier for him- therapy talk still wasn't his thing. "Her aunt has been helping too; helps that all her cousins are older."

"Well, that's very good news," Jenny said, placing the iced tea pitcher back in the fridge as she went on the other side of the counter, sitting on one of the stools. "I hope this is what she needs to start to put her life back together."

"Couldn't agree more," Jethro replied, snagging her glass of iced tea and taking a sip. "Oh, was this yours?"

"Funny," Jenny said, rolling her eyes. "How did wrapping up your case go?"

"Suspect put up a fight; DiNozzo's gonna have a nice bruise tomorrow," he replied, and Jenny's eyebrows tightened in concern.

"Were you hurt?" she asked, his eyes running over his body as though cataloguing what was wrong. He shook his head, a bemused look crossing his face.

"I'm fine, Jen," he answered, slipping his hand over hers. Flipping her hand over she laced their fingers together, using her free hand to push her thick crimson hair out of her eyes. Jethro's blue eyes scanned her face, studying her emerald green irises carefully as he squeezed her hand gently. "You doin' okay?"

"I'm okay," Jenny replied with a shrug of her shoulders, and Jethro let go of her hand to cup her cheek, turning her face back towards his when she glanced away.

"Tell me Jen," he said, studying her reaction as her eyes watered slightly, not looking as him as she spoke.

"I had a nightmare, early this morning," she replied softly, fear flickering in her viridian irises as she replayed the scene over and over in her head. "Haven't really been able to shake it."

"That why you called Patricia?" he asked quietly, and she nodded, biting her lip.

"You had your case, and…I wasn't in a great place around lunch," she answered, her teeth sinking further into her lip. "She just talked to me for a while, distracted me. Helped me work through the urge, and explain why it actually wasn't a form of control."

"I'm glad she could help," Jethro answered, but Jenny could pick up the tension coming from him.

"She pushed me to find a licensed therapist, though," she replied, not sure where the tension was coming from, and too tired to really push to find out what his problem was. "She can only help me so much, and I know that, it's just…it's easier for me to talk to her, someone I'm comfortable with, than opening up to a new therapist. But I know I can't keep pushing all my problems on her."

"I'm sure she doesn't see it that way," Jethro said, shaking his head slightly. "You know how much she cares for you, Jen."

"Jethro, I call the woman every single time I fall apart, and that's become quite frequent," Jenny replied, bitterness tingeing her tone. "She has her own life to live, and I can't run crying to her whenever life gets too hard for me to handle."

"Jen, Patricia _wants_ to help you," Jethro said, cupping both of her cheeks in his hands and raising her eyes to his. "She just wants you to find someone who has made helping people their profession, because she wants you to get the help she knows you need. It isn't because she doesn't love or care about you-it's the exact opposite."

Jenny studied him, a hesitant smile spreading over her lips. He raised an eyebrow, confused as to her reaction.

"What?"

"You just never cease to amaze me," she replied simply, leaning over and kissing him lightly. "That's all."

He smiled, brushing back her bangs so that he could see her eyes. When he saw that all the fear and uncertainty had left the emerald orbs and had been replaced by glimmers of happiness and hope, he felt a tiny amount of pride hit him.

Seeing her smile was all he cared about at the moment.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, dinner was almost done cooking, Jenny had changed into more presentable clothes, and Patricia and Ashley were knocking on her front door.<p>

"Seriously Jen, your house hasn't changed since the last time I was here, like, twenty years ago," Ashley said as she stepped over the threshold, glancing around at the front hall. "Although it looks cleaner than before."

"A housekeeper does wonders," Jenny replied with a laugh, embracing her of her friends, taking a few seconds to whisper her thanks once again to Patricia for that afternoon. The older woman merely sent her a look that told her she knew how much she appreciated it. "Jethro's in the kitchen with drinks. You both know your way; I'll just hang up your coats and join you."

Patricia followed Ashley towards the kitchen while Jenny put away their coats and bags. When she arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later, Ashley was being introduced to Jethro.

"Jethro-I've heard a lot about you," the brunette said, shaking his hand. Jethro's eyebrow rose slightly as he shot a glance at Jenny, who shrugged. "Good things, I promise."

"It's nice to meet you Ashley," Jethro replied, a hint of a smile touching his lips. "And it's nice to see you again, Patricia."

"Have you been keeping our Jenny company?" Patricia asked, and Jethro couldn't help but read into the question more than he probably should have. He had a feeling that this was like meeting his lover's mother, and while it was comforting to know that Jen had someone she could trust...he knew his every move was going to be scrutinized by Patricia.

"When I don't have a case, yes," he replied honestly, and Patricia nodded, her sharp gray eyes studying him like a hawk.

"Patricia, stop playing Mom and let him relax," Jenny said, rolling her eyes as she handed a glass of white wine to Patricia and a glass of iced tea of Ashley. Jethro gratefully took the tumbler of bourbon from her, his hand falling to the counter behind her lower back as leaned against it. "It's nice enough that he came to this estrogen-filled dinner in the first place."

"That's mighty brave of you Marine," Ashley commented, nodding to him. "Jen, I'm thouroughly impressed. You can keep him."

"He's not a puppy, Ashley," Jenny said with an eye roll, feeling Jethro tense beside her slightly. She placed a gentle hand on his forearm, squeezing slightly to relax the tightened muscles.

"As your honorary big sister, I feel that my opinion is important. I'm just stating that he is a keeper, and that I think you've made a good choice," Ashley replied, shrugging. "No offense to you or anything Jethro, but I gotta look out for Jen, especially after..."

There was an awkward pause as Ashley stopped speaking, Bobby's name on the tip of her tongue.

"He knows about Bobby, and Lizzie, Ashley," Jenny said softly, her hand finding her lover's and weaving their fingers together. "No secrets between us."

"That's awfully brave of you," Patricia commented quietly, her gray eyes unreadable as she looked at her younger friend. Jenny met her gaze, raising an eyebrow slightly. Patricia mirrored the movement, the lines in her face deepening slightly, but Jenny couldn't tell if there was disapproval in her eyes or not.

"Can't have secrets if we want this to work," Jenny answered simply, shrugging her shoulders, feeling Jethro's hand tighten around hers at her words. "And we want this to work."

"God you two sound like a married couple already," Ashley said, shaking her head, amusement in her gray eyes. "I dig it."

"And you still sound like a teenager, only you're trapped in a middle-aged body," Jenny replied, rolling her eyes and tucking a loose crimson curl behind her ear as Ashley stuck her tongue out.

"I resent the middle-aged comment, I hope you know that," the brunette said, folding her arms over her chest. Jenny patted her arm and shot her a smirk, making the gray-eyed woman laugh as she shook her head.

"Come on, food's almost done. We're eating in the dining room, feel free to grab a seat."

Ashley dragged Jethro along with her, questions flying, while Patricia stayed behind to help-and talk to- Jenny.

"Patricia, do you have a problem with Jethro?" Jenny asked, turning to her friend and sighing, hands falling to her hips. Her green eyes were guarded, waiting for her friend's explanation of her actions.

"Jenny, I'll only have a problem with him if he hurts you," Patricia answered, watching as Jenny pulled a thick lasanga out of the oven and placed it on the stove, slipping off the oven mitts she was wearing to grab a knife and spatula.

"He won't, so why are you acting like me telling him things is a bad idea?" Jenny asked, cutting the lasanga into squares. She looked at Patricia, frustration in her green eyes.

"Jenny, your heart has already been broken once by this man."

"Because he lost his memory!" Jenny exclaimed before lowering her voice, remembering Jethro and Ashley in the next room. "I don't blame him for that, and neither should you. If anything, it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Jen."

Startled, Jenny and Patricia turned towards the doorway, where Jethro was standing, hands in his pockets as he regarded the two women. He looked at Patricia, addressing her with his next words.

"I have no intention of breaking Jenny's heart, Patricia," he said, his blue eyes clear and serious, letting her know that what he said was the truth. "Both her and her heart are very important to me, and I will never willingly hurt her. I know that you worry about me, after what Bobby put her through, but I will never lay a hand on her in my life. She means everything to me, and I know what it's like to lose everything. I won't let it happen again."

Patricia's deep gray eyes studied the man in front of her silently for a few more seconds, searching his dark cobalt irises for any trace of doubt. When she found none she nodded, a slow smile spreading over her face.

"That's all I needed to hear," she said in a quiet voice, approval glimmering in the depths of her storm gray eyes. "As long as you don't break her heart or lay a finger on her, I trust you to keep her safe, and love her as best you can. That's all I ask that you do-please don't hurt my daughter. I can't lose another daughter. I only have two left."

Jenny swallowed heavily at the older woman's words; it was still amazing to her that Patricia viewed her as a daughter, even after all these years. Losing her mom at two, Patricia had been the maternal figure in her life to raise her; her father had done the best he could, but there were many things that a girl can't learn from her father. Patricia had taught her about her period and boys and make-up and all the changes her body had gone through as a teenager. But even Patricia's warnings of Bobby Austin hadn't stopped her from 'taming' the bad boy-not that she'd ever tamed him, simply become his punching bag.

"I will never hurt Jenny," Jethro replied firmly, his dark eyes finding Jenny's suddenly-wet green ones, holding her gaze as he spoke. "I'll keep your daughter safe."

Patricia nodded firmly, her eyes dancing between the two of them for a moment before a knowing smile spread over her lips, and she spoke again.

"I'll leave you two alone for a moment, and reassure Ashley that we're all still alive. Don't let the food get too cold Jenny,"Patricia said, slipping through the doorway and leaving the couple to themselves. Jethro made his way over to where Jenny was, his hands falling to her hips and his lips finding hers.

She kissed him back easily for a few seconds, breathing in everything about him to cement this moment in her brain. When she pulled away she opened her eyes to find his gazing back, her heart fluttered momentarily in her chest, and she bit her lip.

"Well, you've got mom and sister approval," she said, causing his lips to curve up into a smirk. "Thank you, for reassuring her."

"I wasn't just reassuring her, Jen," Jethro replied seriously, tilting her head up with his finger so that he could see her eyes. "Everything I said was for you too- and I meant every word. You mean everything to me, and I will never hurt you, not intentionally."

"I know that," Jenny whispered, her hands finding his cheeks and cupping them, pulling his face closer. "I trust you to keep my heart safe- it's in your hands now."

"As mine is in yours," he replied softly, his breath flowing over her lips. He smelled like bourbon; Jenny hadn't touched the drink in over two weeks, and she breathed the scent in, closing her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her again, and Jenny let herself get lost in him, the way he felt and tasted and smelled and kissed.

The kiss was getting more involved- and hands were beginning to wander- when a voice called from the dining room.

"Hey, Jen- we came here for food. I want my dinner!"

Breaking apart, Jenny smiled sheepishly, her arms still around Jethro's neck.

"Ashley tends to get grumpy when she doesn't eat," she explained, handing him two of the plates, taking the other two herself. "And expect comments from her- she tends to voice her opinions whether we ask for them or not."

"She kind of reminds me of Abby, in a way," Jethro admitted, following her towards the dining room.

"She is definitely eccentric," Jenny replied just as they reached the dining room. They entered and Ashley lit up at the sight of food.

"Lasagna? My favorite!" she said, grinning. "I haven't had it in forever. You're awesome Jen."

"So I've been told," Jenny replied, winking as she set a plate down in front of her friend. "Noemi made it, and I can assure you, it's delicious."

"I concur," Ashley said after taking a bite, her eyes closed as she savored the food. "Oh my goodness, Jen, this is fantastic. And you eat like this all the time?"

"On the days when Noemi works and decides that I'm not eating enough so she makes dinner, yes," Jenny answered, nodding. "She makes the best enchiladas I've ever eaten."

"Gosh can I come over when she makes those?" Ashley asked, her eyes widening slightly. "Or better yet can I bring them home to my children, so maybe they'll get off my back about my cooking?"

"Sure, I'll ask Noemi to just fix a batch next time she comes, and I can bring them over," Jenny answered, and Ashley grinned.

"You are literally the best Jenny," she said, and Jenny rolled her eyes.

"It gives me an excuse to see your family again," she replied, moving her food around her plate, not really that hungry.

"You can have them," Ashley said with a snort, taking a sip of her iced tea. "I mean it- any time you want to take them off my hands, you're more than welcome."

"Maybe I will," Jenny replied, liking the idea of a day with Giselle and Lilly. "I'll give you a call."

"Anytime," Ashley replied, before taking another bite of food. "Seriously, I need to eat here every night."

"Ashley, I swear, it's like you never eat," Patricia said, shaking her head at her daughter. "You have a husband who is quite handy in the kitchen."

"Yeah, and never home," Ashley replied, her eyes on her food and her mood suddenly darker. The table grew quiet, and Jethro cleared his throat, trying to disperse the awkwardness.

"So...how about this great weather we've been having?"

When all three women laughed, he knew he'd achieved his goal.

He could get used to dinners like these.

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><p><em>"There is not a thing you miss, and I could get used to this," -'I Could Get Used To This', The Veronicas<em>

A/N: Do not expect fluff like this often. I can tell you there's one more cute-ish chapter, then we get into the nitty-gritty, deliciously angsty stuff that I know all of you (at least secretly) love about this storyline. :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed! I'm glad so many people are looking forward to seeing more of this storyline (and believe me, there is so much more to come). I now have a home computer, but I'm working and have band, and I also now have a babysitting gig with my neighbors, so writing is taking a bit of a back burner while I try to organize my life back into its tiny containers.

This is your last cute-ish chapter. The drama begins towards the end of chapter three :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger," –'A Little Bit Stronger', Sara Evans [I love this song. Yes, it's actually about a break-up, but the words still ring true for this scenario. She's beautiful, and I love her voice.]_

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><p>Jenny was glad it was Sunday.<p>

She'd been able to sleep in until 0800, stay in her pajamas until 1200, and she hadn't had to put a single drop of make-up on her face. Jethro's team had been working this weekend, but he'd called to tell her to be ready to be picked up at 1830, and Jenny was intrigued.

It was a little after 1145, and Jenny had yet to shower and put on real clothes. She was curled up in her study with a stack of files, trying to get ahead of the endless stack of paperwork that appeared on her desk each day. She was just signing a case report when her cell vibrated, and she picked it up without checking the caller Id, placing it on her ear.

"This is Shepard," she said, moving the signed report to the growing pile before taking a new one and opening it in front of her, eyes already scanning the small print.

"Jenny? This is Alexis."

Jenny froze at the sound of her old therapist's voice, setting her pen down and leaning back in her chair, swallowing before answering.

"Alexis- thanks so much for getting back to me," Jenny said awkwardly, not knowing how she was supposed to broach this subject at all.

"Well, when I hear from a patient from twenty years ago that I watched quite unwillingly walk away, and she asks for help, I tend to respond rather quickly," Alexis replied, and the corner of Jenny's mouth twitched up. Hearing her old therapist brought back years of memories- of Alexis's neat, organized office, the soft, brown leather chairs the woman had special ordered for sessions, and the butterscotch candies that had always been located in the upper right corner of her oak desk. "What's going on Jenny? After twenty years of silence, I never expected to hear from you again. Especially since I stopped seeing patients about six years ago."

"I figured that when I called the office and the line was disconnected that the practice had stopped," Jenny said, fiddling with her ring as she waited for Alexis to speak again before realizing she hadn't answered the question. "I was wondering if you possibly had a number for another therapist, then? I could use some advice."

"I have a few friends you might feel comfortable with that are still practicing," Alexis replied, and Jenny could hear her digging around in the background before she made a triumphant sound. "There's Leanna Underwood, but her area of expertise is eating disorders, not self-harm- I'm assuming that's why you called, Jenny. Has something happened?"

"The past week has dredged up quite a bit of the past," Jenny admitted, letting her guard slip as she talked to Alexis, a headache forming between her eyes. "And I think it's time I saw someone again, to deal with my cutting. I haven't cut in over two years, but the issue has come quite close to the surface recently."

"Jenny, you're talking in riddles," Alexis said, a fond remembrance in her voice as she listened to the younger woman. "You need to just say what you want to without covering it up. Just get to the root of it. We never could fix that."

"I'm worried that if I don't see someone I'll wind up cutting again, and that this time I won't be able to stop," Jenny blurted out, surprised at the relief that swept over her after the words had left her mouth. She felt the kind of relief she hadn't felt since she was a teen, walking out of Alexis's office after a really good session. That had been years ago.

"And therein lies the problem," Alexis remarked quietly after a moment of static-filled silence, and Jenny sighed softly. "But I think I can help, Jenny. I have some friends that should be able to either help you themselves, or find someone who can help you the way you need."

"Thank you," Jenny replied, her voice rougher than before as a wave of emotion crashed over her. It was still hard for her to not feel like telling people how she felt was a burden; she hated putting her pain and problems onto someone that didn't need them.

Alexis read off a list of names, a mix of male and female names, and Jenny thanked her again. Alexis asked that she keep in touch; she and her husband Paul had moved to Los Angeles to be closer to their daughter Maria, so there was a slight time difference, but Alexis assured Jenny that she'd always respond when she could.

Jenny hung up from her phone call with Alexis feeling slightly drained, and she sighed, rubbing at her eyes. She looked at the stack of unread case files and knew she wasn't going to be able to concentrate enough to finish them, so she stood and pocketed her cell phone and headed into the kitchen, deciding to make some lunch.

She set water to boil and grabbed a box of noodles, placing them on the counter while she set a small pot of marinara sauce to simmer. She poured herself a glass of lemonade and settled in a chair at the island, letting her mind wander while she waited for the water to boil. She was replaying the conversation with Alexis over in her mind when her phone vibrated again, making her jump out of her skin.

Checking the ID this time, she was slightly confused when she saw Patricia's name. Pressing the connect button and holding it to her ear, she leaned back in her chair as she spoke.

"Hello Patricia. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just calling to check in," Patricia replied, and Jenny could just picture her with her knitting in her lap and a cup of hot mint tea next to her. "It's been a few days since we've talked, and I just wanted to be sure you were doing alright."

"I'm doing alright," Jenny said, standing and checking her water, pouring the uncooked pasta into the now-boiling water and setting the timer. "Alexis called me back a little while ago."

"You called Alexis?" Patricia asked, her voice rising slightly in disbelief. "Jenny I'm impressed."

"Well, you were right- I needed to get in touch with her again," Jenny replied with a slight shrug, swirling her lemonade around in her glass. "She gave me a list of people to call; she said not to be discouraged if the first few aren't who I'm looking for; finding the proper therapist at an older age with my brand of issues can be difficult."

"But you called her, and that's a huge step Jenny," Patricia said, and Jenny bit her lip to hold back the smile. "I'm proud of you for having the courage to do that."

"I was surprised she remembered me at all, to be honest," Jenny admitted, getting up when the timer went off and straining her pasta, adding the now-warm sauce to it.

"Jenny, I told you she wouldn't forget you," Patricia said, her voice softening. "You, Jennifer Shepard, are quite unforgettable."

"So I've been told," Jenny replied with a soft laugh, thinking back to when Jethro had said those exact words, a few weeks into their second try at a relationship.

"How's Jethro?" Patricia asked, and Jenny shifted her pasta around her bowl with her fork, her cell phone nestled in between her shoulder and her ear.

"He's working this weekend, but he's picking me up at six thirty tonight," Jenny replied, a touch of excitement entering her voice. It had been a long time since she'd gone out on a proper date- this whole business was amusing to her.

"Well, it sounds like you're in for a pleasant evening," Patricia said, and Jenny could hear her smile over the phone line.

"I hope so," Jenny replied, taking a bite of pasta. "How's everyone? Ashley?"

"Ashley's having a tough time," Patricia admitted, sighing as she mentioned her daughter. "She and Steve are fighting, not spending enough time together. It's worrying the kids; Beth especially."

"Are they fighting over Steve not being home?" Jenny asked, her eyebrows contracting in concern.

"I think they don't even know what they're fighting about anymore," Patricia admitted, her tone turning sad. "But I hope they'll work it out soon; they can't continue on like this for much longer."

"Have a little faith, Patricia; some fights just take a little time to be resolved," Jenny said, trying to comfort her friend, knowing that nothing she said could make this better until Ashley and Steve had resolved their issues. "I have to finish eating and shower; tell everyone I said hello since you'll probably see them before I do."

"Of course," Patricia said, and Jenny could hear the smile that was back on her friend's lips. "Have a good evening Jenny."

"I'll talk to you again soon," Jenny promised, knowing it was true. "Goodbye Patricia."

Jenny hung up the phone after her friend returned her words and ate a few more bites of her pasta before she threw the rest in the garbage disposal and flicked it on after she turned on the water, waiting for the food to disappear before leaving her plate in the sink along with her now-empty lemonade glass.

She headed upstairs, making a mental checklist of what she needed to do, sighing when she realized she had to get laundry together, or else nothing would be clean for work.

Then she saw the clock and realized that she only had five hours until Jethro came to pick her up, and suddenly the to-do list didn't seem so long.

* * *

><p>Jethro was looking forward to his evening with Jenny.<p>

They'd barely seen each other over the past week, with their work schedules, and he wanted desperately for that to change. He missed seeing her, knowing how she was doing, what she was feeling that day. He missed touching her, holding her- just watching her.

But he'd promised himself he'd do this right- that he would do right by Jenny. So he hadn't spent the night since she'd almost relapsed. They'd only made love once since he'd stayed, after she'd woken up from her nightmare, and had shown him her scars.

Tonight, he was taking Jenny out to a small, casual, out-of-the-way restaurant for dinner, and he was already dressed casually; in dark jeans and a navy blue button-up shirt over a tight white t-shirt. He pulled up to her house and took a deep breath before getting out and heading up to her front door, using the knocker, and waiting with his hands behind his back.

She opened the door a few minutes later, and he eyed her appreciatively.

She was dressed like he'd asked- casually- and he was very impressed with her choice of tight blue jeans, a dark red long-sleeved turtleneck, and a soft-looking, light brown leather jacket. On her feet were red tennis shoes, and her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail, her bangs brushed slightly to the side so that they cast a slight shadow over her eyes.

"Jen…wow," he said, whistling low under his breath as he looked at her, watching as she bit her lip, a rosy blush filling her pale cheeks.

"You said casual…"

"You look perfect Jen," he said, interrupting her. "Beautiful, even."

"Stop it," she said softly, shaking her head at him as she grabbed her small purse and put it over her shoulder, turning back towards him. "Will you tell me where we're going?"

"We're going out to eat," Jethro replied, his hand slipping to her lower back as they walked towards his car, where he helped her into the passenger side.

"Do you want to tell me where?" she asked, one eyebrow quirked up in amusement as she settled back against the seat, her hands folded in her lap.

"A tiny French place towards the outskirts of the city," he answered, and the way her eyes lit up made up for all the painstaking time it had taken him to look up the place on the computer.

"Oh it sounds perfect Jethro," Jenny replied, her hand slipping into his as he drove, squeezing lightly. "Thank you, for doing this. I feel like I barely saw you this week."

"Schedules didn't exactly overlap," Jethro replied, his thumb running along the back of her hand, her fingers so thin and small in his.

"We'll have to fix that," Jenny said, and Jethro nodded, letting them lapse into comfortable silence as they drove.

Dinner was quiet and comfortable; the couple sat next to each other in a small corner booth, enjoying each other's proximity and company. The food was delicious, and for dessert they shared a slice of chocolate cheesecake. Jenny ate the raspberry one top before bestowing a quick kiss to Jethro's lips, making the whipped cream disappear from his face.

The drive home was filled with their quiet conversation about Alexis and how Jenny now had to search for a therapist- Jethro was quieter than usual throughout the discussion, but Jenny just took it as him internalizing everything, and dismissed it. She knew she needed this, and if he needed time to process and deal, that was just fine by her.

They pulled up to the house and got out, Jenny leading Jethro to the front door. She unlocked it and pushed it open, closing it behind Jethro once he was inside as well. He came up behind her and slowly slid her jacket off her shoulders, his hands sliding down her arms and taking the jacket with them, hanging it up carefully as he began to explore her turtleneck-clad torso.

She turned her head towards him, lips meeting, and they kept it tame, a lid on their passion as her hands settled on his chest, and his made his way to the hem of her sweater. She made no move to stop him, but once his hands touched her warm skin, he broke the kiss, pulling his hands away.

Confused, and slightly hurt, Jenny looked up at him, awaiting an explanation.

He looked at her sad, disappointed emerald eyes and his heart broke at her expression, but he'd made himself a promise, and he wasn't going to break it just because he wanted her so badly it hurt. But she needed to know that this wasn't because of her- it was all him.

"Jen…"

"What, Jethro?" Jenny asked softly, and the defeat in her voice made his stomach bottom out and his heart skip a beat. He swallowed and stalled, and Jenny continued. "Are you going to explain why you suddenly don't want to touch me?"

"Jen, you know I love touching you-"

"Then why did you stop?" she asked, and her voice was so small, so lacking of self-confidence, he couldn't help himself from cupping her cheeks and bringing her face up to look at his.

"Because I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. "And I'm scared- Jenny I'm _scared_- that if I go too far I'll hurt you."

Jenny swallowed, a tear making its way down her cheek and splashing against his thumb. He tenderly brushed it away, his blue gaze conflicted.

Jenny's response was to kiss him again, her mouth molding to his easily as his hands found her waist and pulled her flush against him. She was warm and soft and he held in the groan as her curves pressed against him.

"Jenny- I, can't…we can't do this," he ground out as her lips made their way down his throat. If he didn't stop her now there'd be no turning back. "Jen."

She paused, looking up at him.

"You aren't going to hurt me," she said, tilting her head. "Why do you…"

"Jen, please. Can you just…do it for me?" he asked, desperation tingeing his tone. Her eyes widened, and she bit her lip, thinking.

"Okay," she whispered, still clearly confused. "So I'm guessing you don't want to stay the night?"

"Not tonight," he said, swallowing.

"Some day?" she asked, looking up at him, waiting.

"Some day, soon," he replied, and she nodded hesitantly, her shoulders still sagging. Leaning forward he kissed her again, cupping her cheeks and framing her face. She kissed him back slowly, and kept her eyes closed as he turned and walked out of the house before he could change his mind.

He didn't hear the words she whispered under her breath as he closed the door.

* * *

><p>"<em>Lyin' here with you so close to me, it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe…We don't need to rush this; let's just take this slow…just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight; just a touch in the fire burning so bright, and I don't want to mess this thing up- I don't want to push too far," –'Just A Kiss', Lady Antebellum [I. Love. This. Song. It's the perfect date song, and it also fits how Gibbs is treating this relationship perfectly. I hope he didn't seem too much like the white knight at the end- he's just walking on eggshells, to begin with. He isn't always going to be this noble, I promise. I'm trying to set the stage for chapter four :D]<em>


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I am incapable of writing fluff it seems, which is exactly what the next chapter of HBN is. So, I started a new, very angsty story, an angsty Blackwater one-shot, and worked on this. The drama begins now; the story will start to pick up a little more now. Sorry it's shorter than the others; you'll understand why I ended it where I did!

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Everything's so blurry, and everyone's so fake, and everybody's empty, and everything is so messed up," –'Blurry', Puddle of Mudd [There is a good chance I'll be writing a one-shot with this song. It's just…I can't even describe it.]_

* * *

><p>The day after the not-great date, Jethro's team got a case.<p>

It seemed routine enough; a robbery and murder of a Petty Officer in his home while he was on leave. His wife had come home from the grocery store and found his body, and Metro had called them. They were currently processing the scene, and the killer had obviously been messy.

"This guy's clearly an idiot," Tony said, collecting his third set of pristine fingerprints. "He left evidence everywhere."

"Easier for us," Tim replied, shrugging his shoulders as he took another picture of the murdered man.

"Another hair," Ziva said, bagging it. "Very messy."

"It's like he doesn't realize how much he was leaving behind," Tony said, looking back at his boss, who looked distracted.

And that's because Jethro was distracted.

He hadn't left Jenny the way he should have. He was an idiot, and he didn't known exactly how to fix it. This case would hopefully be wrapped up quickly so that he could try to make it up to her.

"Boss?"

He looked up when he heard McGee say his name, clearing his head so that he could work this case. He walked over to the younger man, looking over his shoulder.

"All of his cash is missing, and according to their financial records, they have three credit cards; there's only one here. I already checked with the wife, she has one, but apparently there's one missing," Tim said, and Jethro's brow furrowed. This guy clearly wasn't aware of all the technology they had now to track credit cards.

"Head back to base; we'll track the card," Jethro said, and Tim nodded, standing. "Tony, with us. Ziva, stay and ride back with Ducky when he gets here."

Tony stood and walked over to him while Ziva handled the camera, taking a few more pictures as she scanned the room for more evidence. Together the three men headed out of the house towards the sedan, passing Ducky and Palmer on their way out.

The drive back to the agency was silent; each team member was mulling over their own theory, and Jethro was also thinking about Jenny. He hadn't seen her that morning, and he had no idea how she was feeling that day.

Once in the bullpen, Tim immediately set himself up to track the card, and Tony and Jethro started going through the Petty Officer's records. Moments later, Tim's voice was heard.

"Card was used five minutes ago at a motel nearby," he said, jotting down the address. Jethro was at the hotel in seven minutes flat, and after acquiring the room key from the front desk, he and the boys headed for the room. It was on the second floor, and they took the stairs, weapons drawn.

They reached the room and Gibbs slid in the key, unlocking it before pulling it back out. Tony pushed down the handle, and with guns drawn, they entered.

"Federal Agents!"

Sitting in bed was a middle-aged man, his hair brown with thick streaks of gray, and his eyes the color of mud. He had a scar on his cheekbone, and his eyes looked haggard. A gun sat on the bed next to him, and there was blood on his t-shirt. His gaze darkened, and his hand reached for his gun, but all three men trained their guns on his chest, and he froze.

"I don't think so," Tony said, stepping forward and grabbing the gun carefully with his pointer finger, while Jethro handcuffed the man roughly.

Once back at the agency, Gibbs sent the evidence up to Abby to be processed, and gave her the guy's name.

"Billy Arnold," he said, and she typed it in, frowning. "I don't like that look Abby."

"Well…this is hinky," she said, her fingers furiously typing as her frown deepened.

"Hinky how?" Jethro asked, impatience growing.

"Well…Billy Arnold didn't exist until yesterday," Abby answered, and Jethro's eyes widened.

"How is that possible?" he asked, and Abby shrugged, folding her arms as she turned to look at him.

"Burn alias?" she suggested, but he shook his head. This guy was too messy to be a spy. "He could have changed his name recently."

"Any way to see what his name was before- see if he has a record?" Jethro asked, and Abby shook her head, her mouth twisting.

"Those records are classified, unless we have his DNA or someone knows his real name," Abby replied, and Jethro frowned slightly.

"We have his DNA," he said, and Abby's eyes grew lighter.

"I'll start running it now, we should get a hit in a couple of hours," she replied, and he nodded curtly, striding out of the lab.

Back at the bullpen, Tony and Tim had the picture up on the plasma, and crime scene photos on the other. He joined them, going over the scene with them.

Jenny was tired; she hadn't slept well, thoughts of rejection swirling throughout her brain, and when she had fallen asleep, nightmares of Jethro morphing into Bobby had made her awaken in tears. This morning she felt achy and sick, and her head was pounding so much she could barely read the file in front of her.

Standing, she stretched her back, deciding maybe taking a break, and walking down to the bullpen to see how the latest MCRT case was coming. She grabbed her coffee and told Cynthia where she'd be, slipping her cell into her pocket.

She noticed the three boys in the center of the bullpen and made her way down, and she had just reached the half-wall when she saw the picture on the plasma, and she froze in her tracks, a gasp coming to her lips.

She knew those brown eyes.

"_Hey- I'm Bobby," the teenaged boy said, his drawl warm and sensual, those big brown eyes framed with thick lashes as he leaned against the counter of the diner. "Friends call me BA Bobby. What's your name Red?"_

"_Most people call me Jenny," she replied, a rush of heat touching her cheeks and turning them as red as her hair, which she'd put up in childish pigtails this morning. What self-respecting fifteen year old wore her hair in pigtails anymore? She looked like an idiot, and here this older, hot, sixteen year old was talking to her!_

"_I'm gonna call you Jen," he said, and Jenny's blush deepened. One of his strong hands came up near her ear, and his finger twirled around her pigtail, wrapping the thick crimson strands around his tanned pointer finger. "I'd sure like to get to know you better Red."_

"_I guess we'll have to work on that then, won't we?" she asked, adding a flirty eyelash flutter into the mix, and his grin widened._

"_I think I like the sound of that."_

She swallowed, ending one of the few happier memories of Bobby Austin.

While the picture on the screen was grayer, and older, and not the eighteen year old boy she'd seen go behind bars, she knew it was him. There was no mistaking it, and she shivered. Why was that picture up on the plasma?

"Jen?"

She suddenly became aware that Jethro was trying to get her attention, and she blinked, trying desperately to tear her gaze away from the horrifying picture and focus on his clear blue eyes.

"Jenny? Are you okay?" he asked again, his hands almost touching her but not quite, for fear she'd react badly. She swallowed again, and then jutted her head towards the plasma.

"Why is that picture up on the plasma?" she asked, her voice hoarse in her throat as she tried to maintain her composure. Jethro frowned, confusion filling him as he looked back at the plasma before looking at her again.

"You mean our suspect?" he asked, and her eyes widened, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. Her next words were shaky and soft, her green eyes filled with silent fear as she held her breath, the question rolling off of her tongue and filling the otherwise quiet bullpen.

"Bobby Austin is your suspect?"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm back in my element- this is my personal favorite brand of angst. I know you're all waiting for the Gibbs/Bobby meeting- unfortunately, you're all going to have to wait for next chapter ;) I've had this chapter planned out for quite a while, and I really hope I get it out the way I want to. Tony's insensitivity I feel is in character- I want your opinion on if you agree with me, though.

Keep your fingers crossed for everyone in my neck of the woods- Hurricane Irene has already killed six people on the coast, and it's only just beginning. Thankfully, I'm too far inland to get hit with anything devastating, but some of my friends aren't as lucky. I'd really appreciate it if you could keep them all in your thoughts!

"_There was a time, I thought you did everything right,__no lies, no wrong," –'Best Thing I Never Had', Beyoncé [I'm a little bit in love with this new song by her. She's a favorite artist of mine, and I fall in love with her songs quite easily. And, well, she's beautiful!]_

* * *

><p>"Bobby Austin is your suspect?"<p>

Jenny watched as confusion flooded Tony and Tim's faces, but Jethro's blue eyes widened, shock filling his features. She swallowed, suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen, even though the room wasn't by any means small.

"Um- who is Bobby Austin?" Tony asked, clearly confused. Jenny stiffened, her hands clenching into fists at her sides, and it took her quite an amount of strength to relax.

"That's your suspect," she answered, her voice tight as she looked at the screen again.

"But, Director, he said his name was Billy Arnold. Not Bobby Austin," Tim said hesitantly, obviously not wanting to contradict her, but still confused.

"Name didn't exist 'til yesterday," Jethro interrupted, and Jenny's eyes widened, any color she had in her cheeks disappearing completely.

"He got paroled," she whispered, and she had to grasp the edge of Ziva's desk to remain fully upright. "They let the bastard out. I can't believe it."

"I'm sorry- but what is going on?" Tony asked, clearly confused. Jenny took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to admit something she'd been hiding from for years. But could she face the judgment- or worse, the pity- that would shine in the younger man's eyes if she revealed how damaged her past was? A young man who she had hurt deeply in recent weeks- but nevertheless a young man she'd grown to trust, and respect, and view as a friend in the weeks that had turned to months as Jethro had laid on a beach in Mexico, not remembering her or their life together.

She took another deep breath, and tried to look at Jethro for support, but his eyes were dark and fixated on the image on the screen, and she knew she wasn't going to be able to reach him anytime soon.

"Bobby Austin was my boyfriend in high school," she explained, and both Tony and Tim's eyes grew wide. "The man you have sitting in interrogation is that same man."

"But you said they let him out," Tony said, folding his arms slightly, taking the defensive stance he had with her ever since the Jeanne debacle. "Who is 'they'? And why the name change?"

Jenny's chest tightened, and she worked hard to breathe normally, bringing the air into and then out of her lungs. She gripped the desk harder, the sharp edge digging into her palm and making her bite her cheek to keep from making a sound. God, why did her heart have to hurt so much?

"Bobby was sent to prison when I was a senior in high school," she answered, her voice cold and detached, the only way she'd be able to make it through the conversation without bursting into tears. "He was sentenced to twenty to life; it appears as though they've paroled him."

"What was he sent for?" Tim asked, before paling and continuing. "If you don't mind me asking.

"Rape," she answered simply, and all their eyes widened.

"Director…" Tim started, but she interrupted, still no emotion in her voice- but the tears were so close now.

"Not of me," she said, cutting him off with a shake of her head, but her hands were beginning to shake. "Of my best friend. I had a restraining order against him."

"Why?" Tony asked, and Jenny swallowed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to even just draw strength from Jethro's presence, only feet from where she stood, drowning in the middle of the bullpen.

"Because he abused me for two years," Jenny answered after opening her eyes, her emerald green irises meeting Tony's harsh, hazel ones. "I was a cutter incredibly close to suicide, and when he broke my hand in his car door, it was the final straw."

"I'm sorry- but you were a cutter?" Tony broke in, folding his arms. Jenny leveled him with a stare, not saying anything. "You came from privilege. Why would you cut?"

All the air left Jenny's chest in a microsecond. She could only stare at Tony as all thought left her brain. Then, she saw red.

"Because I came from privilege?" she asked, incredulous. "You think that just because my nails were manicured that that stopped me from digging a razor blade into my forearm? That because I was thin and pretty and pale that it stopped me from slashing lines into my stomach just so I could make myself feel? That any of my nice clothes and expensive things stopped me from doing this to myself?"

At her last words, she shoved up the loose sleeves of her dark gray tunic, showcasing her multitude of scars. Tony paled, and Jenny's chest heaved, tears burning the backs of her eyes.

Without another word she turned on her heel and hurried back to her office, the door slamming loudly behind her. They all cringed, and there was an awkward silence.

"I think- I think I should go talk to her," Tony said, and Jethro's glare was the only answer he needed.

"I'm goin' to Abby's; c'mon McGee," Jethro said, shooting Tony another angry look before departing. Tony cringed.

This wasn't going to be pretty.

* * *

><p>Tony's hands were sweating by the time he made it to the Director's office.<p>

He knocked, and when he received no response, he almost turned away. But the thought of Gibbs asking him what she'd said and having no answer for him was more terrifying than Jenny kicking him out, so he grasped the door handle, pushing it open.

She was in her in-suite bathroom, leaning heavily on the sink counter as she stared at her hands. Tony awkwardly cleared his throat, and she turned her head, her head snapping back to its position when she saw him, not saying a thing.

Well, she hadn't told him to go.

"I didn't understand," he started, and her hands whitened as she grasped the counter harder.

"No one understands," she whispered, her hair falling like a curtain around her head.

"Make me," he said quietly, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. She turned, looking at him, her lashes thick with unshed tears.

"I was numb, all the time," she stated quietly, her left hand tracing one of the scars on her right forearm. "Except when I cut. That was the only thing that could make me feel, after he hit me."

She lapsed into silence then, her face a host of pain and cruel remembrance. Her eyes were sad- he'd never seen her so vulnerable, and in that moment, Tony forgot about all the grudges he'd been holding against her.

Because she was human, and fragile, and he realized that she needed a friend right now. She needed someone to be there for her- and he'd do that.

Stepping forward he slipped one hand over hers; she jumped at the contact, looking up at him curiously, her green eyes shaded in the dim lighting of the bathroom, and her hair fell at an angle as she tiled her head.

"You don't have to go it alone," he said simply, and her lips curled up into a hesitant smile.

"Thanks, Tony," she said softly, and she squeezed his hand lightly, her eyes not as sad any more.

"Jenny, you know me- I'm just a nice guy like that," he said, winking at her. She rolled her eyes, shaking her head at him.

"Where did Jet- Special Agent Gibbs go?" she asked, cutting off the familiar name and using his towel, biting her tongue.

"Down to Abby's lab," he answered, and she nodded, straightening up and composing herself.

"Shall we go?" she asked, and he nodded, gesturing gallantly that she should step in front of him, and she let out a soft laugh, walking out of her bathroom.

Together they walked out of her office, and Jenny's chest felt lighter than before. She had someone on her side, and she felt a hint of relief.

Until she saw the picture on the plasma and was reminded of who was only a floor below her.

* * *

><p>"<em>But I know somebody hurt you, and I know you really need a friend- well you can take my hand," –'Stand By Your Side', Celine Dion [I have a crush on her, not even kidding. She's so pretty. And talented.]<em>


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys are all awesome.

I totally intended on updating 'Brown Paper Packages', but it just won't come tonight. Possibly tomorrow, during work. We shall see :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time," –'For The First Time', The Script [I love them, so much. And, they're playing for free at the New York State Fair, and I might get to see them in person. SO excited.]_

* * *

><p>Jenny finally caught Jethro in the interrogation hallway.<p>

He'd already left Abby's lab when she and Tony had gotten there, so she had sent the younger man to the squad room to look while she checked the interrogation hallway. She'd found him about to walk into the room where she could only assume Bobby was, and she caught his arm just as he was about to grab the handle.

"Jethro, please," she said softly, and he swallowed, turning and following her to a small alcove, where they were only inches apart.

"What, Jen?" he asked tensely, his fists clenched at his sides. That was the first time she noticed how much his arms were shaking, and she touched his bicep gently, feeling the tension. "Jen, I can't-"

"What's wrong?" she asked, her green eyes demanding an answer. His eyes tightened, and his voice was strained when he next spoke.

"He hurt you, Jen. How am I supposed to sit there, and look at him, and not think of the hell he put you through?" he whispered, pain in his voice. One of his hands gently picked up her wrist, his thumb stroking one of her scars. "He's the reason this scars are here- he's the reason you were in so much pain. I don't even know him and I hate him Jen, for what he did to you."

"Jethro," Jenny said softly, the hand not in his reaching up to cup his cheek. He couldn't look her in the eyes, and her thumb brushed his cheekbone, trying to get him to look at her. "Jethro, look at me."

Reluctantly, his eyes rose to hers, the dark blue irises a sea of pain- and she knew it was for her.

"Bobby Austin is not worth it," she said, swallowing hard at the name. "I know he isn't- he's a worthless bastard, and I lost a lot of my life to him. I can't let him drag you down too."

Jethro's hands fisted into her hair, drawing her lips to his in a desperate kiss that she responded to easily, her hands cupping his neck, drawing him closer. He pressed her against the wall of the alcove gently, his mouth on hers, his hands moving from her hair to her hips, pulling her against him.

"Jethro, we can't," Jenny said in his ear, not wanting to say no, but knowing they had to. "And, we need to talk about what's going to be done."

"I'm going to interrogate him, and make him wish he'd never been born," Jethro answered, his voice harsh.

"No, you're not," Jenny said, shaking her head as she disentangled herself from him. "You're going to inform him of what he's being charged with, and then you're going to tell him he'll be speaking with Director Shepard of NCIS."

"Jen, no," he said, but her eyes hardened, determination in her features.

"You can't stop me," she said, shaking her head. "He's my demon, Jethro- and I will show him that I'm not that seventeen year old girl anymore."

"Even a hint of you being in danger I'm yanking you out of there," Jethro said tightly after a few moments, and she conceited with a nod.

"Not a second before," she said, and the threat was clear to him. He nodded curtly, and she relaxed. "Go tell him why he's here- and make sure you say Shepard- don't say my first name."

"Alright," Jethro said, and he deposited a quick kiss to her forehead. "For the record I don't like this."

"I'm not saying you have to," she said with a shrug, linking her hands in front of her. "But it's what's being done."

With another curt nod he left, and she sagged against the wall, closing her eyes.

She didn't know if she could do this.

* * *

><p>Jethro had to reign in his temper as he opened the door to the interrogation room. Bobby- well, 'Billy', but he could only see him as the nightmare of Jenny's dreams, Bobby- looked up, his brown eyes clear of any emotion.<p>

"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Arnold?" Jethro asked, spinning his chair around and sitting on it backwards, the paperwork on the table. "Or should I say Mr. Austin?"

"Not my name anymore," Bobby said, his brown eyes becoming tinged with anger.

"Well, I think I'm gonna call you Bobby anyway," Jethro said, shrugging his shoulders. "Kinda flows, right? BA Bobby Austin?"

The man's eyes darkened, his lips curved downward into a scowl.

"You ain't got no right to call me that," he said, anger clear in his voice.

"I've got the right to call you whatever the hell I want," Jethro said, snapping slightly, before remembering Jenny's words. "But I'm merely here to tell you why, exactly, you're here. My boss wants to have words with you."

"You're here to 'soften me up'?" Bobby asked, scornful. "So your boss, the big bad man, can come and take a bite outta me?"

"You're aware you killed a Marine and left copious amounts of evidence behind, right?" Jethro asked, ignoring his comments. "You're being charged with murder and robbery."

"Whatever you say," Bobby said, leaning back and folding his arms, indifferent.

"Well, Director Shepard will be in to speak with you shortly," Jethro said, gathering his papers together and standing, needing to get out of the room before he knocked the living daylights out of Mr. Austin.

"Shepard?" Bobby asked, leaning forward, licking his lips in interest. "This director wouldn't happen to be a redheaded woman with green eyes and a nice ass, now, would she?"

"You will not talk about Director Shepard that way," Jethro said through clenched teeth, anger boiling in his blood. The door to the room opened, and Jenny stepped in, cool, calm, and composed.

"That will be all, Agent Gibbs," Jenny said, taking the folder from him and watching him leave the room, the door shutting loudly before she turned back to Bobby, her face a mask.

"I don't believe it- they elected a lying bitch to run a place like this?" Bobby asked, his lips turning up into a sneer.

"The jury didn't seem to think I was a lying bitch when they convicted you," Jenny said, her face still neutral, but her words a stinging slap.

"They were a bunch of idiots," Bobby snarled, sitting forward and smacking the table with one fist. "You and Lizzie were lying sluts, and you were the ones who should have been behind bars."

"You were the one that raped us," Jenny said, her mask slipping and anger boiling in her eyes. "How were we to blame?"

"Because you both deserved it- you were lucky to have me, and you threw it away!"

"You broke my hand in your car door!" she cried, and his mouth twisted in disgust.

"You were a bitch, and you know you deserved it," Bobby said, and the look in his eyes made Jenny swallow, fear creeping up. "You never listened to me- if you'd listened, it never would have happened."

"I just wanted to stay alive!" Jenny cried, standing up from the chair and walking away, her hands shaking. "You were killing me!"

"You didn't listen!" Bobby yelled, pushing his chair back and standing up, slamming the table with his hand-cuffed fists.

Just then the doors to interrogation opened, but they weren't Jethro, like Jenny was expecting.

Instead, standing there was a brunette woman dressed in a tight skirt-and-blouse combination, her hair in loose waves around her shoulders, her mouth painted a bright red, her eyes shining in the light.

"Who are you?" Jenny asked, folding her arms over her chest as she gazed at the woman.

The brunette spoke, her red-colored lips turning up into a smirk as she spoke her next words.

"I'm Margaret Allison Hart- and I'm Mr. Arnold's attorney."

* * *

><p>"<em>Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore; you lost the love I loved the most," –'Jar of Hearts', Christina Perri [I. Love. This. Song.]<em>

A/N: Oh yes- I went there ;)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Your reactions to the end of last chapter made me laugh so hard- and it's been a long time since I've laughed like that, so thanks. Hart isn't connected to Bell in this story- she's just a mega-bitch of an attorney. More will be explained within the chapter.

I saw The Script live last night…I'm in love with their accents (and the fact that they aren't used to CNY heat). "See the thing with us Irish blokes is that we melt, in heat. So by the end of this concert, we're just going to be puddles of whiskey here on the stage." Oh Danny, I would so drink your whiskey…

Also, Jibbsgal1 made a good point in her review that I hadn't given too much thought to, but I've remedied that in this chapter. So, thank you, very much :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_You could have had it any other way, 'cause she's a crueler mistress, and the bargain must be made. But oh, my love, don't forget me; but I let the water take me," –'What The Water Gave Me', Florence and the Machine [This is a different kind of music than I generally listen to, but this song is just…I love it.]_

* * *

><p>Jenny's lips curved into a distasteful frown, her green eyes flicking over the woman with contempt.<p>

"He's only just been charged- how did you even know he was in need of a lawyer?" Jenny asked, folding her arms, the scars burning into her skin as Bobby's eyes remained on her, their brown glowing with anger.

"When someone who has been out of prison only two days is already in NCIS headquarters- and, not to mention the fact that he has major connections to the Director, and unpleasant ones at that, it sends up a rather large red flag," Hart replied, her eyes glinting with satisfaction when Jenny stiffened at her words. "I'd like time alone with my client."

"How can someone that's only been out of prison afford an attorney like…you?" Jenny asked, and Hart's eyes narrowed at what she was insinuating.

"I don't think I understand what you mean, Director Shepard," Hart answered, her lips curved downward in distaste.

"You seem rather…pricy," Jenny clarified, but Hart's frown only deepened, before her reddened lips curved up into a smirk, her eyes glinting.

"I'm doing this case pro-bono. Now, unless there's something else, I'd like to speak with my client," Hart said, setting her briefcase down on the table. "Alone."

Anger flaring, Jenny nodded curtly, not trusting herself with words. She reached the door and grasped the handle, and she had just opened the door when Hart spoke again.

"And, Director Shepard, one more thing," Hart said, and Jenny steeled herself before turning, a look of professionalism on her face. "I trust that any recording devices will be shut off? I want full privacy."

"Of course, Ms. Hart," Jenny replied through tight lips, needing to get out of the room before she strangled the woman.

She shut the door behind her before she sagged against her, her face falling into her cupped hands, tears threatening to fall. Moments after she shut the door she was pulled into a warm embrace, and she stiffened, before she recognized the scent and realized it was Jethro. She clutched him closer, her hands fisting into his shirt, and a dry sob escaped her throat. He murmured into her hair, and he moved them to the same alcove as before, tightening his grip on her when her knees weakened and she swayed.

"He's got a lawyer," she whispered, pulling back to look at him, tears in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "And a bitch of a lawyer at that. Jethro, what if…what if he gets out?"

"He won't, Jenny," Jethro said, cupping her cheeks and brushing the tears from her lashes, his hands warm and strong, supporting her. "I swear to you that he will not walk, no matter how much of a bitch his lawyer is. He will pay for what he's done."

Jenny touched his cheek with her fingertips, one tear making its way down her cheek, and she brushed it away with her free hand.

"I know he will," Jenny said softly, her fingers fleetingly brushing over his cheekbone. Leaning forward she kissed him gently, her lips touching his like a whisper before they were gone. "I think we should get someone else to do the interrogation."

"Jen?" Jethro asked, caught off guard.

"While Hart may be a bitch, she has a point. I'm too emotionally invested in this, and you are through our relationship. And, I know- no one knows about the relationship. But it's better to be safe, in this case," Jenny said, sighing. "And Ziva can't do it; she has too much connection to me because of Egypt. It has to be Tony or Tim."

"Tony," Gibbs answered almost immediately, and Jenny tilted her head slightly at his speedy answer. "He cares about you too Jen- he won't screw this up."

"Alright," she answered, nodding. "Send him down."

"Gotta tell Abby his name; she'll connect it to the DNA we found at the crime scene," Jethro said, and Jenny nodded again, taking a deep breath.

"I'll tell her; you go find Tony," Jenny said, and Jethro's eyes grew concerned.

"You gonna be okay Jen?" he asked, and she squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"I'll be fine," she promised, and his fingers rested lightly on the back of her neck, his skin warm.

"Okay," Jethro said, and he kissed her again. She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, needing him, which he gave readily. She pulled back much too soon for his liking, but he let her go, his hand resting lightly on her waist. She squeezed his hand lightly as she slipped out of the alcove, and he left soon afterward, shooting a dirty look at the closed interrogation door.

This Hart woman was not getting out of this easily.

* * *

><p>Jenny made her way to Abby's lab in silence.<p>

No one was in the elevator as she rode in it, and the Goth's lab was eerily quiet when Jenny stepped into it. There was no music, only the sound of machines running, and Abby's fingers typing on the computer.

"Abby?" Jenny asked, and the forensic scientist turned around, her green eyes widening.

"Director," Abby replied, still looking surprised. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a name for your suspect that had his name changed," Jenny answered, and Abby's eyes widened further, shock crossing her face. "His name is Bobby Austin."

It took Abby a second to collect herself to type the name in, and then Bobby's teenaged face came up. As did his criminal record.

"Well, he just got out of prison for-"

"Rape, I'm aware Abby," Jenny said, cutting her off. "Can you just run the DNA from the crime scene against his, please?"

Abby looked slightly hurt by Jenny's bluntness, but she didn't have the energy to soften herself. She wanted Bobby nailed to the wall, and the faster Abby ran the DNA, the faster that could happen. But she realized she couldn't hurt Abby because of this, and so she sighed, pinching her nose with her thumb and forefinger, closing her eyes briefly.

"Abby, please? This is really important," Jenny said, and Abby nodded, her green eyes flashing with concern before she turned back to her computer, pulling up the tests needed.

The ding came moments later, and Jenny sighed in relief at the results.

"It's a definitive match, Director," Abby told her, turning to look at her over her shoulder. "Bobby Austin is definitely this Marine's killer."

"Thank you, Abby," Jenny said, nodding. She was about to leave the lab when Abby stopped her, a soft hand on her arm.

"Director?" Abby asked, her voice soft, and Jenny swallowed, preparing herself. "How did you know what Bobby had been put away for?"

Jenny's throat constricted, and she swallowed hard again, not sure she could answer without breaking down. Eventually she decided to just get it out.

"He was my boyfriend in high school. He was also my abuser for two years," Jenny said softly, watching as Abby's eyes grew wide once again and a small, shocked gasp escaped her lips. "As for the rape, it wasn't me. Just…look at the case, for more information Abby."

With that she turned and walked out of the lab, leaving the Goth speechless, a rare feat.

Jenny took no pride in it.

* * *

><p>Ziva arrived back at headquarters tired, and wanting to kill Gibbs for leaving her at the crime scene. She set her bag down by her desk and looked at the plasma, where the man who she assumed was their suspect was still up. She surveyed the man with distaste, and as she turned back to her desk she caught sight of Jenny walking.<p>

"Director!" she called, and Jenny's head shot up, her green eyes dark and a haze of pain, and Ziva frowned, walking towards her friend. Wary of their surroundings, she spoke her next words in French, a language Jenny and herself were both comfortable with. Her voice was a low murmur, filling the empty bullpen. _"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas, mon ami?"_

Jenny's eyes widened slightly at the language choice, but having spoken it for years, Jenny slipped into it comfortably, the familiar burn of memories from long ago filling her as she recalled Paris and everything after. She relished the pain that rippled through her- it reminded her that she was alive.

_"Ziva ... cela est trop dur pour choisir juste une chose,"_ Jenny replied softly, her arms wrapped around herself. She was trying desperately to keep herself together, but Ziva knew how much difficulty she was having- her eyes were like portals into the scarred being Jenny was- her Director façade was only so strong.

_"Dites-moi, Jenny,"_ Ziva commanded gently, her whiskey-brown eyes looking at Jenny with concern. The green eyes that looked back were so full of sadness- a sadness Ziva had seen too much of recently- that the Israeli's heart hurt for her.

_"Bobby est notre suspect. Il revient, de la prison. Je ne fais pas... J'ai peur, pour ce qui peut arriver,"_ Jenny admitted, casting her gaze downward. Ziva remained shocked for a moment, before she collected herself enough to speak, this time in English.

"I want to speak with him," she said, her accent bleeding through more than usual as her anger reached the surface. Jenny shook her head, crimson curls tumbling around her shoulder, the red standing out against her pale skin.

"Ziva, you have too much emotional attachment through me," Jenny said softly, touching her forearm lightly, squeezing gently. "Tony is doing the interrogation. Bobby already has a lawyer."

"How? Was he not picked up only an hour ago?" Ziva asked, frowning in confusion.

"Yes. I think someone is looking out for him," Jenny said, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "But I don't know who. And until I do, we're just playing by the rules. I can't let him get away on a technicality, Ziva. I just can't."

"I know, Jenny," Ziva said, her tanned hand covering Jenny's pale one. "I know."

They fell silent as they looked at the plasma. Ziva studied Jenny, her eyes running over the pain that was only barely masked by the beautiful, tragic features.

She would not let this man destroy the woman in front of her.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the French, but I need to practice, since school starts on Wednesday, and the extent of my French this summer has been 'Merci' and 'Bonjour'. So…yeah. Here are the translations, in the order that they were spoken:

-What is wrong, my friend?

-Ziva…it is too hard to pick just one thing.

-Tell me, Jenny.

-Bobby is our suspect. He is back, out of prison. I do not...I am afraid, for what may happen.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks so much for all of the reviews! School starts tomorrow- realistically, my next day to update any of my stories will probably be Saturday. Just so you all know :)

- _Nous allons parler plus tard _= We will talk later.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_You said you loved me you're a liar 'cause you never, ever, did baby,' –'Grenade', Bruno Mars_

* * *

><p>"Tony."<p>

The younger man's head shot up when he heard his boss' voice, his hazel eyes meeting Gibbs' immediately.

"Yeah boss?" he asked, straightening up and walking with Gibbs when the older man motioned for him to follow.

"You're doin' the interrogation," Jethro informed him, and Tony's eyes widened.

"You mean…the Arnold interrogation?" he asked, and Jethro nodded gruffly.

"Director's orders," Jethro said, and Tony nodded, swallowing. "Abs has got DNA confirmation that Aust...Arnold is the killer. He can't wiggle out of this, no matter how much his lawyer tries to squirm."

"Tough attorney?" Tony asked, looking carefully at his boss. "How does he have one already?"

"Don't know; Director's lookin' into it," Jethro answered, scratching the back of his neck in irritation, his dark blue eyes flashing.

"Should I go now, boss?" Tony asked after a moment of silence, and Jethro nodded.

"I'll be in Observation with the Director," Jethro told him, and Tony nodded before walking off. Jethro watched him for a moment, a rare flash of pride flashing through him before he turned and went to find Jenny.

He found her in the bullpen, having a soft conversation with Ziva. It took him a moment to realize they were speaking in French, and he cleared his throat, not wanting to startle them too much. They both looked up, a pair of emeralds and a pair of topazes, and he swallowed at how much duller Jen's eyes looked than usual.

"Director. Ziva," he said, nodding to them, though his gaze stayed on Jenny.

"Gibbs," Ziva returned, dipping her head slightly. _"Nous allons parler plus tard."_

"_Oui,"_ Jenny replied, nodding. She turned to Jethro, who raised an eyebrow in question, and she shrugged, telling him she'd talk to him later. "Has Tony been informed, Agent Gibbs?"

"Goin' down to interrogate him now. Join me in Observation?" he asked, and she nodded. He offered her his hand to help her stand, and she took it, her thin, pale fingers squeezing his lightly before they released his hand, and she smoothed out her pants.

They walked silently, but Jethro could feel the tension radiating from her. Once in the elevator he stopped it, turning towards her.

"Jethro, what?" she asked, looking tired.

"Talk to me, Jen," he said, and she shook her head.

"We can talk after this is over," she replied, pushing past him to restart the elevator. He folded his arms, looking like he wanted to argue, and she held up a hand, shaking her head. "I really can't do this now Jethro."

"Jenny…" he cupped her cheek, searching her eyes. "I can't help if you don't talk to me."

"I know that," Jenny said, her hand covering his and her eyes softening slightly. "When I need help, I promise, I'll tell you."

"Okay," Jethro said after a moment of silence, and the elevator reached their floor. They separated, and Jethro opened the Observation door for her, following her inside. The tech inside respectfully ignored them, continuing to fiddle with the knobs, and in the darkness, Jethro brushed his fingers over Jenny's. She sent him a small smile before focusing on the scene in front of them, her hands shaking slightly.

"So, Mr. Arnold," Tony was saying, looking at the file in front of him before looking back up at Bobby. Hart was standing near Bobby's shoulder, her red lips pushed together in a firm line, her eyes glued to Tony, her hair like a brunette cloud around her shoulders. "You are aware that we know you killed our Petty Officer."

"I didn't kill nobody," Bobby said, and Jenny had to resist the urge to cringe at his grammar.

"We have your DNA," Tony informed him, and those cruel brown eyes narrowed. "You were pretty messy at the crime scene; we've got hair and finger prints and your bullet casing, that match the gun you had on you at the hotel- which you paid for with the victim's credit card."

"He was breathin' when I left," Bobby replied simply, shrugging his shoulders as though the idea didn't even bother him, and Tony's shoulders jumped in irritation.

"So you admit to shooting him and robbing him?" Tony asked, his hands clenching slightly and his voice lowering a pitch as he kept a lid on his anger. "Just so we're on the same page."

"You don't need to answer that, Billy," Hart said, stepping in and placing a soft hand on his shoulder, and Jenny's hands curled into fists at her sides, her eyes narrowing into daggers at the brunette. The green of her irises were as hard as jade, shards of gems in her eyes.

"He has no right to a new name, a new life," she whispered, her voice practically a hiss. "He took everything from me; how on Earth can he deserve to have his past erased just like that? Like it never even mattered?"

Jethro swallowed, one of his hands resting soothingly on her shoulders, squeezing gently to try to calm her down. She was shaking beneath his hand, weather from anger, exhaustion, or fear, or a combination of all three, he didn't know. His heart twisted for her; she felt so incredibly fragile, he was worried that soon she'd crumble even under his gentlest touch.

"It isn't fair," she continued in a whisper, and he caught the tears that were residing in her throat as her voice broke on the last syllable, something so uncharacteristic of her. "Lizzie deserves so much more justice than this. She's gone, and he walks out of prison with a new name. He doesn't deserve any of this- none of it at all."

"We've got him, Jen," Jethro whispered into her hair, and she continued to shake against him. "He isn't getting out of this. I promise."

"He does, actually," Tony said to Hart with annoyance clear in his tone, his shoulders taunt with irritation and tension, and Jenny could imagine his face was darker, in an attempt to keep his temper in check. Hart pursed her lips, and Tony resisted the urge to glare. "Answer the question."

"Yeah, I shot him," Bobby answered finally, his hands clenched into tight fists, and Tony relaxed slightly. "Took a credit card."

Tony stood, closing the folder, and heading towards Bobby, on the other side of the table.

"You're under arrest for the murder…"

Jenny tried to relax as Tony read the charges, but found she just couldn't. Tony went to stand Bobby up, and just as Tony's hand touched his shoulder, Bobby jumped up and moved to the corner of the room, breathing heavily and looking very much like a caged animal.

"I'm not goin' back to prison!" he yelled, and he looked directly at the mirror, practically right at Jenny. "Jen, you owe me out of this situation- you put me in that hellhole the first time, and you won't put me back in it! Bitch, you will not send me back there with your lies!"

Jenny froze, knowing that he probably didn't know she was even behind the window, but his words kept her in place, making her unable to move her feet. Her head spun, her chest burned, and she gasped, pain radiating from her chest.

The panic attack overloaded her senses, and tears filled her eyes as she found herself unable to draw in any air.

She swallowed, trying to get air into her lungs, but it felt like there was a brick on her chest, stopping her from drawing air. It hurt, and she felt dizzy, her head swimming.

The only thing that was clear were Bobby's eyes, the dark, burning brown of them bored into her mind. The anger, the hostility, the hatred in them glared at her, his voice repeating every insult he'd ever thrown at her.

_You're nothing. You'll never be anything._

_You aren't beautiful; how could you ever even think that?_

_You're worthless; no one will ever want you._

_You'll never be anything._

She tried to breathe, but she couldn't; she started hyperventilating, and she gripped the interrogation window, feeling Jethro try to catch her.

Then, everything went black.

* * *

><p>"<em>I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like, and right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe. I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight," –'Love The Way You Lie', Eminem featuring Rihanna. [I have an obsession with this song. I love Eminem, and this song is just freaking fabulous. I intend on using it a lot when I write 'Fractured', the story of Jenny and Lizzie and Bobby all written out (After I finish my two other WIP stories, I'll be starting that one).]<em>


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I'm really sorry, but it looks like this update is going to have to tide you over for the next two to three weeks, unless something changes drastically in my schedule. Band is sucking up all my free time, as is school work. I don't want to mark this as on hiatus because things could change, but it'll be slow going until about Halloween.

In the mean time, I have two authors you can check out while you wait: Jibbsgal1 and AliyahNCIS. They're both fantastic, and write excellent Jibbs stories. I mean it- go read them (and review!). Please :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time's a thief. We're late, darling we're late. The curtain it sends, everything ends too soon too soon," –'Speak Low', Tony Bennett featuring Norah Jones [The way their voices blend together is fantastic. I'm a little bit in love with Tony Bennett, he's brilliant!]_

* * *

><p>The first thing Jenny registered as she regained consciousness was that she was comfortable.<p>

Her back didn't hurt, her head was resting on something soft, and her body wasn't aching like it normally did. She winced as her tender eyes reacted to the harsh over-head lighting, and she squeezed them shut, reaching her arms up to cover her face with her hands.

Then the pounding registered, and her mouth twisted as the headache set fully in. Then a low voice touched her ear, and it took her a moment to realize who it belonged to.

"Jen? You awake?"

"Jethro?" she asked, frowning as she opened her eyes slowly, the room spinning slightly as she tried to sit up.

"I gotcha, Jen," he said, and she continued to frown, looking around at her surroundings.

"How did I get in my office?" she asked, realizing that she'd been comfortable because she'd been stretched out on her couch.

"Carried ya," Jethro replied, shrugging nonchalantly. She tilted one eyebrow, slightly amused, before shaking her head, her lips pressed together.

She swallowed, and Jethro brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes, his palm rough against her skin as she closed her eyes, leaning into him. She turned so that her legs were over the edge of the couch, resting in between his, and her hands pressed into his warm neck as her forehead rested on his, eyes still closed.

Gently, he brushed his nose against hers, and she tilted her head, her lips barely touching his as, tentatively, they touched each other, caressed each other, skimmed the surface of each other's emotion.

His hands held hesitation as they lingered on her fingers and hands, traveling slowly up her arms to reach her shoulders, tracing the line of her neck to her jaw bone as still, their lips were mere whispers against each other. Her fingers lay lightly on his skin, the contact sending a shiver up both their spines as electricity bolted from the adjacent sections of their skin.

She was warm, her legs tucked in between his, her thighs barely brushing his, but she'd move ever-so-slightly and the contact would take his breath away. She reveled in how his roughed palms felt on the smooth, bare skin of her arms, sending ripples of pleasure through her, trailing her nails over his carotid artery, enjoying his low murmur of appreciation.

He trailed his lips over her jaw and cheeks, hearing her thrilled hum of enjoyment, and the fact that she was totally distracted by the feelings he was eliciting- that she seemed to completely forget about Bobby and Hart and the hell that she'd just stepped back into- made him feel proud. Her eyes were closed, her head drooping backwards in contentment, her skin holding a slight flush to her, her normally-pale cheeks the color of roses in the morning light.

He made a pathway back up to her lips as his hand threaded in her thick, heavy crimson curls, and left barely an inch of space between their mouths, anticipation practically tangible in the air between the two of them. He was just about to close the miniscule gap between them when there was a knock on the office door, and they moved apart. Jenny cleared her throat, fixing her hair as she called out in a slightly-shaky voice, her eyes still locked with Jethro's.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly to reveal Ducky, his black leather bag in hand, and Jenny resisted the urge to cringe. She really did not need a medical exam, she was fine.

"Ducky, I really don't need-"

"But you do, my dear. You lost consciousness for an extended period of time. I must do a routine exam, at the very least," Ducky said, cutting her off, his eyes kind. "Otherwise, I'll have to send you to the hospital, and I'm very aware that that is not what you want."

"No, it is not," she said under her breath, and sighed, subjecting herself to the exam.

Ducky took her blood pressure and listened to her heartbeat before shining a bright light into her pupils, nodding along the way and making small talk, but not diving into one of his many anecdotes- something Jenny found rather odd.

"Everything appears to be alright," Ducky said when he finished, backing his things away. "Call me if you experience any nausea, head or chest pain, or any other unusual symptoms. I'm still curious as to what exactly caused you to pass out, though I expect it is in connection to your panic attack."

Jenny swallowed, remembering the helpless feeling that always welled up inside of her whenever she had a panic attack. She hated the way her air cut off and her chest felt tight; the way the pressure grew behind her eyes and the way she felt so terrified and so unable to do anything- she was a prisoner within her own body when the panic attacks struck.

"When I have panic attacks it's not uncommon for me to lose consciousness for a while," Jenny said in reply, her hands shaking slightly in her lap; she interlocked her fingers to make it less noticeable. "I haven't had a panic attack in years though, so this was surprising."

Jethro snorted beside her, and she turned, half-glaring, half-questioning.

"You're honestly surprised you had a panic attack after seeing that?" he asked, raising one eyebrow slightly, though his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. "Jen, he was threatening you- it's no surprise you freaked."

"He was threatening the situation," Jenny said, defending her actions, until she realized that that really wasn't what she was doing.

She was defending Bobby.

It was like high school all over again; the constant questions and her constant lying answers. She'd defended Bobby's answers, because Bobby loved her- everyone else just didn't understand their love.

"_He loves me," Jenny said, crossing her arms and looking indignantly at Apryl, Lizzie, and Rose. "You guys just don't get it, you aren't in love."_

"_Jen, he's hurting you!" Lizzie exclaimed, her gray eyes dark with concern, her blonde hair a messy yet beautiful array of braids and curls, pulled up into a bun. "How can he possibly love you when he leaves marks on your skin!"_

"_He just gets mad," Jenny said, defending her boyfriend. Though the lies in her skin- the straight, perfect lines that burned in her forearm were proof that she didn't believe her own words- tingled at her friends' inquiries. "He doesn't mean to do it."_

"_Are you even listening to yourself, Jenny?" Rose asked, her dark brunette hair gathered over one shoulder, her dark, perfect make-up complimenting her actress-personality like a glove. "How can he love you if he strikes you? That isn't love, Jenny, and you know it!"_

"_Love isn't like the books and the movies and the music we all love," Jenny said, straightening her back and pressing her books closer to her chest, feeling older and wiser than her friends- how could they know what the love she and Bobby had was? "It's messy and real and not always perfect. But Bobby loves me, and that's all that matters!"_

"_But Jenny, you aren't seeing this the way we are," Lizzie began softly, her large gray eyes begging her best friend to hear her. Jenny watched as her best friend's eyes darted to her forearm, where the sleeve of her long-sleeved black shirt was riding up, revealing one perfect, pink line in her skin. Jenny quickly covered it, pushing her hair back behind her ear as she avoided Lizzie's eyes. "You know we're only-"_

"_You don't know Bobby like I do!" Jenny interrupted, her large, dark green eyes sweeping over the three of them, trying to convey what she was feeling to them. "He can be kind and gentle and sweet, and I know he loves me. You're all only jealous because you don't have someone like him."_

"_Jenny, I'd never want someone who's supposed to love me to hurt me," Rose said softly, and Jenny nearly broke at how kind her light blue eyes looked. But then she remembered how mean they were being to Bobby, and she strengthened her resolve._

"_I love Bobby. And you're all wrong. He loves me too," Jenny said, turning and walking away, leaving her three friends to exchange mournful glances before they parted ways._

Jenny swallowed as she came out of the memory- the first time she'd defended Bobby to people she cared about. And the lies still stung her throat; the truth was like a thick coat of molasses, dripping down her esophagus and choking her.

"Jen?" Jethro asked, concern in his voice. She reached for his hand, completely forgetting about Ducky, and when she did, she didn't care. She needed the support only Jethro could give her; the feel of his hand in hers, his breath near her ear and his scent pushing away the memory of smoke and beer and pot.

"I can't keep defending him," she whispered, looking up into his dark blue eyes with her tear-filled green ones. "I can't keep letting him win."

His heart broke for her, and he cupped her cheek in his palm, his other hand tightening around hers. He wanted to protect her from this, to save her, and she clung to what lifelines he threw her; she was desperate.

Ducky watched at the way the two connected, and knew his suspicions had been right for the past few days at a reconnection between the couple. He observed silently, relearning the way the two knew each other so well.

Jenny searched for the answers in Jethro's cobalt irises, and though the former Marine didn't have most of them, she found solace in the vast oceans of his eyes, and he seemed to find the reason to keep her safe when he looked into the forests her irises became when she looked at him. Ducky was struck by how fluidly the two moved together; when one shifted, so did the other. It was like an invisible force connected the two on every level.

As Jethro's large hand wiped away a single diamond of a tear that trailed down Jenny's cheek, Ducky's heart twisted for the two damaged people in front of him.

He hoped they were strong enough to overcome the obstacles that the future held for them.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Look at this- it's only been a week and I'm updating! I'm so impressed with myself, lol. But it's only because band got cancelled because it's supposed to thunderstorm later, and I have a half day with no classes tomorrow, so no homework. I have almost all of this story planned out- it's going to be 30 chapters, like 'Broken', and I have up to chapter 26 planned. I'm hoping that now, writing won't take quite so long.

I don't know how the JAG system works- I just know I wanted this chapter's guest star added into this story (can anyone guess who it is right now?). Because I kind of love her, not gonna lie.

I'm really wishing I hadn't gone with cannon and had Paula be killed. I really want to add her now. I want Paula/Tony interaction again :(

For those that wanted a Gibbs/Bobby confrontation. I do hope you're pleased with this- because this is the last chapter with current-Bobby in it. From now on, he'll only be seen in memories.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Regrets and mistakes, they are memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?" –'Someone Like You', Adele [A repeat of this song in the Fallen Dreams Saga. Still raw, still incredibly personal to me- and with new meaning. I still highly recommend the acoustic version- it's worth the few minutes it takes to watch it.]_

* * *

><p>Ducky left the two alone, and it was only moments after he'd closed the door that there was another knock, and Jenny stood, smoothing her pants and calling out admittance to her office.<p>

Her office door opened and in walked a beautiful, dark-haired woman, dressed in her white Army uniform. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun at the base of her neck, her skin slightly tanned and freckled, and she had brown eyes that were unreadable.

"Faith?"

"Gibbs," the woman returned, her eyes running over him before flicking to Jenny- but ultimately, they rested back on Gibbs, who was still sitting on Jenny's couch.

"What're you doing here?" Gibbs asked, standing and shaking Faith's hand, which she returned warmly. Jenny watched the two, confused.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Faith replied, turning to Jenny. "Commander Faith Coleman. I'm here to prosecute the Arnold case."

"It's nice to meet you, Commander," Jenny said, shaking the dark-haired woman's hand. "You move quickly- I only put in the call an hour ago."

"When we have cases like these, Director, we like to get them into court as quickly as possible," Faith said in reply, and Jenny nodded.

"You've already been briefed?" she asked, and Faith nodded opening her voice to answer.

But she interrupted by her door bursting open, and an aggravated-looking Hart appeared, her features pinched in anger.

"I demand to know what's going on in here," she said, hands on her hips. She looked between the three other occupants in the room, eyes gleaming as she awaited an answer. "My client is still in interrogation, refusing to leave."

"He needs to be taken to jail," Faith informed her coolly, and Hart's eyes narrowed further. "There's no denying it. The evidence and confession clearly condemn him."

"There is a personal connection between my client and Director Shepard," Hart said, and the distain that shone in her voice as she spoke Jenny's voice made the redhead clench her teeth and withhold her glare.

"I'm aware," Faith said curtly, her brown eyes regarding Hart's neutrally, but her hands were gripped together tightly. "That does not change the current case, however. There is evidence that even you cannot deny, Ms. Hart."

"I don't think I like what you're insinuating, Commander," Hart replied, turning to the taller woman and raising one eyebrow, hands still on her hips.

Jethro watched the exchange with crossed arms, glancing at Jenny a few times, who was watching the other two women with critical eyes- but he could see that she was drained, all energy and emotions gone.

"Hart, your client is going to jail," Gibbs said, stepping forward, attracting all three sets of eyes. "You can meet him in lock up. Faith, you can go over what you need to with Director Shepard. I'll be bringing Mr. Arnold to lock up with two other agents."

Silence met his words, and then there were slow nods- though Hart was now looking at him like she wanted to jump him right then and there.

"Works for me," the brunette said, her red-colored lips curving up in the corners. Faith and Jenny nodded, the latter looking tense and unhappy, though it was only because he could read her so well that he noticed it.

"Perfect," Gibbs said, and after nodding to the three women, he left the room.

"So, how does this work, Director Shepard?" Hart asked, turning back to her, though the attraction in her eyes took a moment to die, which meant that she was still thinking about Jethro- which was something that sparked anger in Jenny's belly.

"You go to lock up, as directed by Agent Gibbs," Jenny said, her tone calm and cool, though her blood was boiling. "There, you will meet your client, who will be going on trial. And you stay out of my building. I'm aware that someone tipped you off to your client's presence in my agency. I will find out who that person was, mark my words."

"That sounded an awful lot like a threat. Do you think so, Commander Coleman?" Hart asked, pursing her lips and looking at the taller brunette.

"I didn't hear a thing," Faith said, and the sour look that crossed Hart's face was all the reward Jenny needed.

"I believe that was your clue to leave my office," Jenny said, and Hart's sneer deepened, annoyance in her features. "I'm sorry, was I now blunt enough?"

"No, you were crystal, Director," Hart said, and she clicked her way out the door, letting it slam behind her. Jenny turned to Faith, who raised one eyebrow and shook her head.

"Let's get down to business, shall we?"

* * *

><p>Jethro made his way down to interrogation, where Bobby was restlessly pacing, his hands still cuffed in front of him. He looked up, his brown eyes agitated, and they darkened and narrowed as he watched Jethro enter the interrogation room, shutting the door behind him.<p>

"What the fuck do you want?" Bobby asked, glaring fiercely. Gibbs sat on his side of the metal interrogation table, saying nothing, his face a calm mask. "You gonna talk?"

"Take a seat," Gibbs said, nodding his head towards the empty chair across from him.

"Don't take orders from nobody," Bobby said defiantly, and for a moment, Jethro thought he could possibly see what Jenny had seen in this man as a teenager. But then he remembered everything Bobby had put Jenny through, and all of those thoughts faded away in the blink of an eye.

"Not an order. Just a suggestion," Jethro said, shrugging. Bobby regarded him, and Jethro met the stare, working hard to keep his eyes neutral. Reluctantly, Bobby took a seat across from Jethro.

"Whatdya want?" Bobby asked, his voice gruff. Jethro looked at him before standing, leaning forward with his palms on the metal surface of the table, his face parallel to Bobby's, his mouth next to the other man's ear.

"You are going to go back to jail, Bobby Austin," he said, his voice soft but his tone deadly. "And once you walk out of this agency, you are going to forget about Jennifer Shepard. Because you and your memory have haunted her for the past twenty five years, and it's time that she be free of the darkness you've dragged her down into."

Bobby sneered, pulling back slightly, and he was about to make a comment when Jethro cut him off.

"Say nothing," Jethro said, so sharply and threateningly that Bobby lost his voice, but his eyes remained dark and angry. "She is beautiful, and strong, and everything you told her she wasn't. She is a more of a human being than you will ever be, and I pity anyone that ever knew you. She has everything- and you have nothing."

With that, Jethro straightened, ending one of his longer- but most worthwhile- speeches.

"Have fun rotting in prison, Mr. Austin."

He left Bobby staring at his reflection in the mirror.

* * *

><p>"<em>So lay down, the threat is real, when his sight goes red again," –'The Red', Chevelle [Really, really, really like this song. A lot.]<em>

A/N: I kind of stole the idea of how Gibbs talks to Bobby from how he talks to Michael in 'Bloodbath'. Hope no one minds :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm actually able to update again so quickly because I had really no homework because of my half day on Friday. I'm hoping to update BPP as well, but no promises.

This is one of the two scenes which contain Jenny-memories that I absolutely love writing; the Ashley/Jenny scene is in chapter 12. You have no idea how excited I am to start writing 'Fractured'- but I'm making myself wait so I actually have time to update it.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Well I can't stand to look at you now, this revelation's out of my hands. Still I can't bear the thought of you now," –'Country Song', Seether [I discovered this song thanks to a close friend- A, you're fantastic! Even if you re-broke your arm because you're clumsy *shakes head*]_

* * *

><p>The weekend finally arrived, and Jenny was just leaving her bedroom when there was a knock on the door. She headed down her stairs and opened the thick wooden door to reveal Patricia, dressed not in her usual matching pant and sweater outfits, but simple jeans and a dark purple long-sleeved shirt, a lighter-shaded purple scarf around her neck.<p>

"Patricia- what are you doing here?" Jenny asked, letting her inside and closing the heavy door behind her. Patricia turned to face her, her lined face creased further in concern, and Jenny frowned, worried. "What's wrong?"

"Well, Jethro called, and told me to come and see you today," Patricia replied, and Jenny's frown deepened momentarily before it relaxed, her lips curling up slightly in the corners. "Jenny, I'm rather confused."

"He's being sweet- but it wasn't necessary. I was going to call you anyway," Jenny said, leading a confused Patricia into the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'd prefer an explanation, actually," Patricia replied, and Jenny conceded with a nod, smiling slightly.

"Fair enough," Jenny said, though she continued to set up two mugs and set a kettle of water on the stove to boil before leaning against the island, facing Patricia, who sat across from her. "He didn't rot in prison, like I'd hoped."

"Who?" Patricia asked, her gray eyes flickering with confusion. Jenny took a deep breath, gripping the counter as she spoke the name.

"Bobby."

The silence that filled the kitchen was suffocating; it felt thick enough to cut through with a knife. Patricia's eyes were wide, her face a little paler than before as she absorbed what Jenny had said. Then she swallowed, and cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Why do you know that?" Patricia asked, and Jenny bit her lip, rubbing at the back of her neck.

"He killed a Petty Officer. He was at the agency," Jenny said, and Patricia sat forward, her hand clenching into a fist.

"You saw him? Jenny, did you speak to him?" Patricia asked, something akin to demand in her voice, but Jenny understand where the older woman was coming from. "You did."

Those two words were what made the cracks in Jenny's armor appear.

She could hear the disappointment and fear in Patricia's voice- because Jenny knew the older woman could see now the damage seeing the man who had torn her life apart had caused. And she knew that Patricia could now understand why Jethro had called her and told her to see Jenny this weekend. Because while Jenny was trying to put up a brave front, she was hurting.

She was hurting a lot.

"What did you say?" Patricia asked eventually, her tone even, but her eyes were soft, regarding Jenny as the younger woman poured hot water into the two mugs with shaking hands. Adding a peppermint tea bag to one and a green tea bag to the other, she handed Patricia the green tea before mindlessly adding honey and milk to her own tea cup. "Jenny?"

"He tried to make me get him out of his new jail sentence," Jenny answered hoarsely, raising red-rimmed eyes to Patricia's, tears sitting just out of reach of the redhead. "Told me that Lizzie and I had merely been lying sluts, and that if I had only listened, everything would have been different."

"Jenny, then you would be the one dead, and Lizzie would be here, suffering through the loss you feel for her. Because Jenny, Bobby was killing you, slowly," Patricia said quietly, wishing she could take away the hurting of the younger woman. "I hate that you're going through all of this."

"He took everything from me, and they gave him a new life, a new identity. I found my best friend dead- and by giving him a new name, they stripped that part of him away," Jenny whispered, her eyes now full of glistening tears. "It's like they're saying he deserves a second chance, Patricia. He stole my best friend from me."

Patricia stood and walked around the island, wrapping Jenny into a hug, which the redhead accepted gratefully, clinging to the old woman, the tears beginning to fall. Patricia held her close and rubbed her back, soothing her gently as Jenny cried softly, her emotions overflowing.

"Do you remember when I met Bobby for the first time?" Patricia asked a little while later, when Jenny had calmed and they were sitting in the living room, mugs of tea on the coffee table while they sat curled on the couch, Jenny's head on Patricia's lap.

Oh, Jenny remembered that day well.

"_Lizzie, what did I tell you about leaving your things everywhere?" Jenny grinned at the sound of her best friend's mom's voice, breaking up the fake-study session in the Evans' living room with her scolding._

"_Um…not to do it?" Lizzie asked, looking up from her open Geometry textbook and glancing at her mom. Patricia Evans placed her hands on her hips, raising one eyebrow at her youngest daughter._

"_Then why have I found your shoes, coat, purse, and scarf all in various locations in the kitchen?" Patricia asked, and Lizzie sighed dramatically._

"_Mother, I'm studying with Jenny and Rose," Lizzie said, and Patricia's eyebrow rose further._

"_So that gives you a reason to clutter my house?" she asked, and Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Lizzie Nicole Evans, you pick your things up. Ashley is bringing her new boyfriend over to meet us, and I would like the house to be presentable, please," Patricia said, and Lizzie groaned loudly, falling back against the pillows and closing her eyes._

"_Mom, you're embarrassing me!" she cried, and Patricia smirked, exchanging an amused glance with Jenny._

"_Hop to it, sweetheart," Patricia said, and Lizzie pushed herself up off the ground, huffing and puffing the entire time as she scuffed her way to the kitchen._

_Then, a loud knocking was heard at the front door, and Patricia changed direction, opening the front door. Jenny's heart stopped at the sight in the doorway._

_Bobby Austin was leaning against the doorframe, his brown hair messily arrayed and his brown eyes were light. He wore a tight white t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, sneakers on his feet. His arms were folded over his chest, showing off his mechanic-muscles._

"_Can I help you?" Patricia asked, crossing her arms and shifting her stance slightly at the young man._

"_I'm looking for Jenny Shepard? Some friends told me I could find her here," Bobby said, and Patricia frowned suspiciously._

"_Why are you looking for her?" she asked, and Bobby shrugged, seeing Jenny over the older woman's shoulder and winking, making Jenny blush scarlet._

"_Wanted to see if she wanted to hang out with me for the afternoon," he replied, his drawl sexy and making Jenny melt into a puddle in the middle of the living room._

"_I'm sorry, she's studying right now. Maybe another time," Patricia said, and Jenny wanted to cry 'no, please, Bobby I want to hang out with you!', but something kept her quiet. Bobby frowned, his brown eyes darkening slightly, and Patricia went to shut the door on him when he spoke._

"_Well, Red, you ever wanna hang out, ya can find me at The Ranch," Bobby said, referring to the local pool shack. "I'd love to see ya s'more, Red."_

_Jenny could only nod, and he winked again before Patricia closed the door._

"_Mrs. Evans, why would you do that?" Jenny asked, slightly desperate. "He's, like, the coolest guy in school!"_

"_He seems dangerous, Jenny," Patricia informed her, and Jenny sighed, knowing the older woman didn't understand. "I don't think you should hang out with him."_

"_But he's so nice and funny and cool," Jenny said, folding her arms over her chest and pouting slightly, upset. Patricia sighed, but didn't relent._

"_I can't stop what you do when you leave this house, but when you're here, I don't want you around him, Jenny," Patricia said, and Jenny nodded silently, her eyes fixed on the bowl of pretzels. Patricia turned and walked back into the kitchen, and Rose turned to Jenny, her brown locks twisted elegantly at the back of her head._

"_I cannot believe Bobby Austin came here to find you to hang out!" she squealed, and Jenny nodded, the excitement returning. "Gosh, you're so lucky Jenny."_

_And Jenny nodded, because she thought she was._

"I should have been more forceful," Patricia said, shaking her head angrily at herself. "Then none of this would have happen and I'd have all my girls."

"I wish I'd listened," Jenny said softly, her eyes looking out the window. "There was a part of me that didn't speak up because I didn't think I should hang out with him. But a bigger part of me wanted so badly to be with the cool, BA Bobby Austin. And that part won."

"I wish so badly I could have kept you safe, Jenny," Patricia said, and Jenny knew the older woman was looking at the scars that her tight, black short-sleeved shirt left exposed. Her jeans and shirt covered the scars on her stomach, but the older woman knew Patricia was seeing those as well.

"Once I started no one could stop me, Patricia," Jenny said, sighing softly. "I was so deep into it; nothing could have broken me away from it. It was all I had, eventually."

"I wish you'd known that you had me. That you had your father," Patricia said, and Jenny sighed at the memory of Jasper Shepard, strong and protective.

"I miss him," Jenny said softly, and Patricia murmured her agreement.

"He was a great man Jenny, and he suffered a great loss when your mother left," Patricia said, and Jenny frowned at the words choice, but left it alone. She suddenly felt exhausted, and closed her eyes, the strain on her eyes lessening in the soothing darkness of her eyelids.

Patricia stroked her hair, and Jenny was lulled into the comfortable state of almost-sleep.

"Sleep well, Jenny. I hope your nightmares fade away soon," she heard Patricia murmur, and she concurred.

She wished her life no longer resembled a nightmare.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I know I updated this yesterday and didn't update BPP, but Evelyn begged for another chapter, and I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress ;) Love you!

Don't expect updates for the rest of the week. My homework load was surprisingly light tonight, which led to being able to write. But the rest of the week is dedicated to marching band, sadly. Well, and my boyfriend, because he needs attention as well.

This story is completely planned out in my notebook (I finished it while in Economics class- Ev was sitting right next to me, witnessed it all). So, hopefully I'll be able to update more quickly once I have free time.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Cause tonight for the first time, just about half-past ten, for the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men," –'It's Raining Men', The Weather Girls [*grins* I have a soft spot for this song. And I kick ass at it on 'Just Dance 2'. If you can't tell, this chapter is a little bit of a tension breaker. I felt one was needed. Next chapter we get back to the hard stuff.]_

* * *

><p>Jenny awoke a few hours later, disoriented by the dimness of the living room. She sat up slowly, rubbing at her tired eyes and yawning, covering her mouth. Turning her head, she found Patricia watching her fondly, and she smiled weakly, a little embarrassed at falling asleep.<p>

"I'm sorry for falling asleep on you," she said, and Patricia shook her head.

"It's fine dear," the older woman replied, her gray eyes soft. "You clearly needed it."

"That's an understatement," Jenny said, shaking her head softly. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, eyes widening slightly at the time. "Oh Patricia, it's after ten- I'm so sorry for keeping you!"

"Jenny, it's fine," Patricia assured her, touching her hand. "Though it is best that I be going. I'm subbing at the high school on Monday, and I need to look over the plans I was left."

"Thank you for stopping by, Patricia," Jenny said, standing and walking towards the front door with Patricia, pushing the exhaustion out of her brain until her friend left.

"Jenny, know that I'm here whenever you need me," Patricia said, and Jenny nodded. "You may want to tell Ashley about this…development."

"I will. After this weekend," Jenny said, and Patricia nodded. "Goodnight Patricia."

"Goodnight Jenny," Patricia said, hugging the younger woman and kissing her forehead gently. "And thank Jethro for me. He's a good man, Jenny."

"I know he is," Jenny said in reply, smiling softly. "Have a good week, Patricia."

"You as well Jenny," Patricia said, and Jenny nodded. With a final wave, she closed the door and sighed softly, still tired.

She was just heading up her stairs to get in pajamas and go back to sleep when there was a loud knock on her front door and she turned, frowning. Could Patricia have forgotten something?

Opening the door, her jaw almost dropped at the sight of four men on her doorstep.

Jethro, Tony, Tim, and Ducky were all standing on her front porch.

"Hello?"

"Just wanted to check on you, Director," Tony said from the back of the group, a sheepish grin on his face. "Looks like I wasn't the only one."

"Clearly," Jenny said, a small, amused smirk touching her lips.

"We didn't mean to bother you, Director," Tim said, and Jenny sent the younger agent a soft smile.

"You aren't bothering me at all," she assured him, though tiredness pounded behind her eyes.

"I just came to see how you were feeling, Director," Ducky said, his kind eyes full of concern.

"I'm fine, Ducky," Jenny informed him, her lips curving up gently. "Just tired, and I have a small headache. Nothing some sleep won't cure."

"We should leave you alone then," Tim said, his eyes soft. "Have a good rest of the weekend Director- I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thank you, Tim," Jenny said, not seeing a use for his title at the moment. He was being a friend, not one of her agents.

"Yeah, I'm glad you're okay too, Director," Tony said, nodding to her with a flicker in his dark hazel eyes. "See you Monday!"

"Goodbye, Agent DiNozzo," Jenny said, but the teasing in her tone let him know her amusement. Now only Ducky and Jethro were on the porch, the latter having said nothing yet.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright, Jennifer?" Ducky asked, wanting to double check. She smiled, touching his hand.

"I'm fine Ducky, I promise. I just need to get some sleep, that's all," Jenny said, though she kept exchanging looks with Jethro that suggested there wasn't going to be much sleeping. "I'm sure you'd like to get home, Ducky. Thank you for stopping by to check on me, it was very sweet."

"If you feel ill, you know my number," Ducky said, and after placing a soft kiss to her cheek, departed with goodnights to both occupants of the front porch.

"Are you going to say anything?" Jenny asked softly, beckoning him inside, shutting the door behind her and leaning back against it, regarding the man in front of her.

"Hi," he replied simply, and the look he gave her was so gentle and caring and sweet that Jenny felt like her heart was going to burst.

Stepping forward, Jenny slipped her arms around his waist and tucked her head under his chin, feeling his arms come around her and tighten, holding her strongly against him.

"Missed you," she whispered into the collar of his jacket, so softly he almost didn't hear two syllables that made his heart ache for her.

"Missed you too," he whispered back, the words filling the empty front entryway and seeming to echo around them.

Jenny's hands slipped the worn leather jacket off of Jethro's shoulders, turning and hanging it up on the coat rack, feeling him come up behind her and deposit his shoes near the front door. He placed his hands gently at her waist, kissing her temple softly as she rested back against him.

She turned and faced him, cupping his warm neck in her palms as she looked up into his eyes, searching the cobalt blue irises with her own emerald ones.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked quietly, almost scared that a rejection would follow her words. He seemed torn, and she bit her lip trying to stop the word from coming out- but her desire was too strong. "Please?"

The second she uttered that single syllable, he knew he was staying. He couldn't refuse her, especially not now. She looked like she would break if he so much as held her too tight, and he knew not staying would fracture her fragile self-esteem.

And he was too selfish to say away.

"I'll stay," he said, brushing her hair back so that he could see her beautiful eyes through the crimson curtain. The shine that entered the large, glossy emeralds was the only thing he needed to see to know that he'd made the right choice.

"Let's go upstairs," she invited, and with his hand in hers, she led him up the stairs to her bedroom.

Once there, Jenny shut the door softly before turning back to Jethro, who was looking at her with gentle eyes- gentler than she had seen in a long time. One of Jethro's hands traced her wrist softly, fingers running over the scars etched into her skin.

It still amazed her, how different that scars were to him than they were to most people. He saw them as another thing that made her beautiful, another thing that made her uniquely her. And that was another thing she loved about him, to add to the already large stack.

His lips were warm against hers, full of promises and secrets and wishes and love. She slipped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him as close as she could get. His arms moved to the small of her back, holding her to him as their lips moved in a synchronized dance they were quite good at.

They moved slowly to the bed, taking their time, enjoying the moment. Jenny's fingers slowly crept underneath his tight black t-shirt, one that made his eyes stand out in their blueness. She ran the back of her hand over his tightened abdominal muscles, making him quiver against her.

He breathed out against her lips, his eyes closing as she pulled the shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside as she pushed him lightly towards the bed, where he sat on the edge. Their kiss broke and he looked up at her for confirmation as his hands played with the hem of her t-shirt. She nodded, allowing him to pull the fabric up and over her head, his hands running over her scars with gentle motions.

He tilted his head down and rained her scarred belly with soft kisses as she stood between his legs, her hands threaded into his hair as she closed her eyes, humming in appreciation. His fingers moved to hook into the waistband of her jeans, and when she didn't stop him, he undid the button and dragged the zipper down, letting the material fall down her hips and pool at her ankles. She stepped out of the denim puddle and pushed him so that he was on his back in the middle of the bed, her straddling his hips.

She kissed his chest as her fingers fiddled with his belt and then button and zipper, finally getting frustrated with the jeans and yanking them off, leaving her lover in his yellow and white striped boxers. Her fingers twirled into his graying chest hair and she leaned forward, kissing him with her mouth open, enjoying the feeling of pleasant warmth that flooded her body.

Soon they were naked, and this time, Jenny was comfortable enough to let Jethro be on top, though he didn't want to hurt her by causing more painful memories. She kissed him, showing him that there were no memories at that moment- there was just them. And she wanted so badly to focus on just them- together, in this picture-perfect snapshot in time of them.

Her favorite thing about the way he made love was how gentle he was- he took, but he gave so much more. He made sure she was comfortable and happy and on the edge before he thought of himself, and it was such a startling, wonderful contrast to Bobby that Jenny nearly burst into tears at the love that practically oozed from Jethro as he made love to her.

Then they were over the edge and she was in his arms and she felt so light and carefree and weightless. He held her against him, her cheek pressing into his bare chest, and she sighed, not wanting to jinx anything by thinking about how happy she was.

Suddenly she wanted him again, and again, and again. She wanted him to hold her close, to make her feel things no one else had ever been able to do- to touch her soul, to open her senses. To make her believe all those things that she never had before, to show her how he felt without words.

"Make love to me," she whispered into the silence of the darkened bedroom, the only light coming from the moon filtering in from the curtains. "Until the sun comes in through that window."

Rolling so that he could study her, he trailed his hand down her side, her bare skin tempting him as it glimmered in the silvery light.

"Please Jethro," she whispered, her green eyes like two sirens in the distance, calling to him, begging and pleading with him as they sang out. "I can't live with anymore nightmares today."

He couldn't say no to her when she said it like that, and so he dipped his head, capturing her lips again in a kiss that spoke volumes though he hadn't said a word.

The only sound was the whisper of sheets against skin, and words spoken in the silence of the bedroom for only the two occupants to hear.

* * *

><p>"<em>Let's make love all night long, until all our strength is gone. Hold on tight, just let go; I want to feel you in my soul. Until the sun comes up, let's make love," –'Let's Make Love', Faith Hill and Tim McGraw [These two are one of my FAVORITE 'Hollywood Couples'. I have an intense love of both of them, and together, they're magic. I love this song. Go watch the video- it's the kind of love I want when I 'grow up'.]<em>


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I really suck at getting these chapters out on time. Like, I told people this would be out on Monday. It is not Monday. So, to those who I informed that this chapter would be up way sooner- I apologize; school has sucked, and so my writing time was severely cramped. However, it's a long weekend- possibly, there will be more updates. Fingers crossed.

The flashback in this chapter is one of my absolute favorites. I've started planning 'Fractured', which is very exciting to me.

I'm also working on a Grey's Anatomy Mark/Addison slightly AU fic that was posted two days ago, so if you're into that, maybe you'll like it :)

Also- a (very!) belated Happy Birthday to a faithful reader/reviewer, ladybugsmomma! :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_No matter what, I got your back, I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that," –'No Matter What', Papa Roach [Such a good band, and this is one of my favorite songs by them.]_

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><p>Jenny knocked on Ashley's front door, shivering slightly.<p>

While it was a relatively warm day, she was still cold in her black yoga pants, short-sleeved royal purple t-shirt, and her thin gray sweater. She's chosen a simple pair of purple tennis shoes, and she tapped her toes nervously as she waited for her friend to open the door. There was a loud crash and a few moments later the door opened to reveal a harassed-looking Ashley.

"Oh, Jen, I'm sorry," Ashley apologized, letting her inside and heaving a sigh as she shut the door. "It's kind of a warzone in here."

"Doesn't bother me," Jenny said with a shrug, slipping off her sneakers. "Lizzie was always picker about cleanliness than I was."

"You're telling me. My room looked like a pigsty compared to hers," Ashley said, rolling her eyes and snorting slightly.

"Ashley, your room was a total wreck compared to anyone's," Jenny replied, raising an eyebrow slightly at her friend. Ashley rolled her eyes again, not saying a thing.

"Mom, where is- oh, hi Miss Jenny," Beth said as she skidded to a stop in front of the two adults, her brunette hair up in a messy bun, her eyes smudged with blue liner, and she was dressed in worn gray sweatpants and a dark green tank top. "I didn't know you were coming today."

"Did I forget to mention that?" Ashley asked, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. "Sorry. Well, your dad took Christian, Lil, and Giz to the mall, and they won't be back until late tonight. So it's just the three of us."

"Sounds like a party," Jenny said, the corners of her mouth turning up into an amused smile. Beth laughed, her blue eyes dancing, and then turned to her mom.

"Do you know where my English book went? I think Lilly took it."

"It was sitting on the kitchen counter, last time I saw," Ashley replied, and Beth shot off to go get her book. Ashley turned to Jenny, sighing. "I seriously apologize for how disorganized my life is right now."

"Ashley, it's fine. I appreciate your life no matter how disorganized it is," Jenny told her, and Ashley chuckled, squeezing her friend's hand.

"You are way too nice for your own good," she said, and Jenny swallowed, trying to smile but failing. Ashley noticed and folded her arms, looking at the redhead critically. "I know that look. What is it, Jen?"

"Um…can we sit somewhere? This isn't going to be pretty," Jenny replied, and Ashley's gray eyes widened before she nodded, leading them to an office a few doors down the hall and closing the door behind them.

"Speak."

"No foreplay?" Jenny asked, her lips twisting in mock amusement, before sighing. "Bobby Austin."

"Your reason for saying his name under my roof would be…?" Ashley asked, her eyes narrowed at the name.

"He was at the agency, this past week," Jenny replied, and Ashley's eyes widened, shock leaking into her features.

"Jen…what the fuck?" Ashley asked bluntly, her gray eyes a mixture of emotion that Jenny couldn't decipher.

"He robbed and murdered a Marine. He's going back to prison, this time with no chance of parole," Jenny answered, her voice devoid of emotion. "He was out on parole for two days total, and now he is back in prison, awaiting trial."

Ashley said nothing- her mouth was hanging open slightly, her gray eyes wide at Jenny's words. She swallowed hard, floundering for words.

"I don't…holy shit."

"You read my mind," Jenny replied softly, sighing. She rubbed at her eyes, and she could hear Ashley's breathing hitch in her chest.

"Jen, seriously, what the hell?" Ashley asked again, shaking her head. "So this means he'll finally stay behind bars?"

"Most likely, yes," Jenny replied, nodding. "The consequences of killing an enlisted man are very severe nowadays."

"You're not okay," Ashley observed after a few moments of silence. Jenny opened her mouth to protest, and Ashley held up her hand, cutting the redhead off. "If you lie to me, it will not be pretty, Jennifer Shepard."

Jenny closed her mouth, sagging in defeat.

"I'm eerily reminded of after I first met Bobby," Ashley said out of the blue, filling up the silence. Jenny nodded slowly, closing her eyes at the memory.

"_Jen, where are you going?" Ashley asked, her thick brunette hair tumbling down around her shoulders as she caught up to Jenny in the halls, brushing the younger girl's shoulder._

"_Right now? Gym," Jenny replied, wrinkling her nose as she lifted up her black drawstring gym bag. "I'm meeting Lizzie by her locker. Where are you headed?"_

"_I'm off to AP Psych," Ashley replied, adjusting the shoulder strap on her bag and flipping her long hair. "Mr. Thomas assigned us this huge project on psychoanalysis and I need to get some serious work done this period, or else I will possibly fail my sophomore year of high school."_

"_Oh, I highly doubt that Ash," Jenny said, rolling her eyes._

_Then they turned the corner, and right in front of them was Bobby Austin._

"_Hey Red," he said, his eyes traveling the length of her body slowly. "Lookin' fine today, darlin'."_

"_Excuse me, do we know you?" Ashley asked, her gray eyes turning to steel as she assessed Bobby, folding her arms over her chest._

"_Red here knows me pretty well," Bobby replied, his brown eyes looking close to a leer as he grinned cockily at Jenny._

"'_Red' has a name," Ashley very nearly spat, hostility in her tone. Bobby's eyes widened, their brown color darkening at the brunette's words._

"_I know her name, Evans," Bobby said, using the name most people called Ashley, to distinguish her from the other Ashleys in the school. "I just like callin' her Red. Got a problem with it?"_

"_Yeah, I do, actually," Ashley said, her eyes narrowing and her tone darkening even further. "Because calling her 'Red' is degrading and annoying, it isn't her name, and your use of it for her is seriously pissing me off. Get a life, loser, and stop calling her by her hair color."_

"_Well, I see someone's got a bit of an attitude," Bobby said, but there was an undercurrent of something in his eyes that made Ashley involuntarily shudder. "I don't think I like that."_

"_Too bad I don't give a fuck," Ashley said, her eyes narrowed even further. "I think you'd better get to class, Bobby."_

"_I don't take orders from girls like you, Ashley," Bobby returned, and Ashley's fists shook with rage. Jenny touched her friend's arm gently, biting her lip to stop herself from screaming._

"_Ashley, we have to go," Jenny said softly, tugging on her. She lowered her gaze, not meeting Bobby's, so when his large hand enclosed around her upper arm, she was barely able to hold in the gasp._

_Jenny pushed Ashley to go towards the end of the hall, motioning for her to leave and that she'd catch up. Her friend walked off, still fuming, and Jenny turned to Bobby, her teeth still sunken into her lower lip._

"_I don't like you hanging out with her, Red," Bobby said, and Jenny swallowed._

"_Bobby, I barely know you. What are you doing?" she asked, exhaustion in her tone._

"_But I know you, Jen," he said, and there was a shiver on her end at the nickname. "And you're gonna know me real well soon. I full intend on you gettin' to know me pretty damn well, darlin'."_

_Jenny shivered as he walked away, the feel of his warm hand lingering on her skin._

_She caught up to Ashley, who was still pissed._

"_I hope you never get involved with him, Jenny," Ashley said, shaking her head as they continued to walk. "He is absolute scum."_

_Jenny remained silent, because her mind was on everything Bobby Austin had said- and on just how tempted she was to get involved with the tough, bad boy BA Bobby Austin._

"_Jen, you aren't- Jen!" Ashley said, clearly horrified. "Don't lie to me- you're thinking about him!"_

_Jenny said nothing- because she was thinking about him._

_Her stomach was in knots._

"I knew you were gone in that moment when you didn't talk. You always talked," Ashley said softly, shaking her head.

"He had me," Jenny replied, sighing. "I wanted to badly to know what being wanted felt like."

"There were so many other guys Jen," Ashley whispered, shaking her head again as anguish tinged her tone. "So many other nice, healthy, perfect guys for you."

"You know I wanted adventure, Ash," Jenny said, shrugging. "The adventure I found was just too big for me."

"That's one way to put it," Ashley said, sighing. "I hope this new encounter doesn't hurt you, Jenny."

"I hope so too, Ashley," Jenny said, her fists clenching as she bit her lip, glancing down at her exposed, lined forearms. The scars tingled like they always did when she thought of Bobby, and she swallowed hard, her index finger tracing one absentmindedly. "I hope so too."

The silence that lingered was louder than any words that could have been said.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews- we're over 100 know, which is awesome. Sorry for the delay between chapters- I finished BPP, so I chose to update that all in a row instead of updating in order as I usually do. I'm hoping to get a number of chapters up this coming week, to get closer to the end of this story.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_The hardest question to answer is why- why. Someone save me if you will," –'Save Me', Shinedown_

* * *

><p>The day after she went to Ashley's Jenny sat in her study, going through a stack of case files with a mug of coffee next to her as she squinted to read her agents' scrawled handwriting. She'd made it through two files when her cell went off, and she held it to her ear, rubbing at her temple.<p>

"Shepard."

"Hello Jenny," an amused voice came, and Jenny swallowed, eyes widening slightly at the sound of Alexis' voice.

"Alexis. Sorry, I was expecting a disaster at work," she replied, sitting up a little in her chair

"Are you waiting on a call?" Alexis asked, and Jenny shook her head before remembering that Alexis couldn't see her.

"No, no. Just when I get a call this time of day on a Sunday, it's someone telling me the world is ending," she answered, and Alexis chuckled quietly. "I have time to talk, Alexis."

"Well, I was calling to see how you were doing," Alexis said, and Jenny pinched the bridge of her nose, puffing out a soft breath. "That doesn't sound encouraging."

"Well, it wasn't a great week," Jenny replied, and she could practically hear Alexis frown. "Bobby was our suspect and perpetrator to the robbery and murder of a Naval Officer. He was at the agency."

Alexis was silent, and Jenny could hear her gathering her thoughts. She played with her pen, tapping it lightly against the file in front of her, the words swimming together in her tiredness- she hadn't slept well the previous night.

"I take it you interacted with him," Alexis stated, and Jenny sighed, making a confirmative noise. "How did that go?"

"Another agent took over- his lawyer suggested I'd tamper with the case since I had personal reason to," Jenny replied, her jaw tightening slightly. She ran a hand through her hair, her anger deflating. "I had a panic attack and lost unconsciousness. Jethro had to carry me upstairs to my office."

"Jethro?" Alexis asked, and Jenny softened slightly, biting her lip. "I think your silence is all the answer I needed. Is he aware of your past, Jenny?"

"Yes, he is," Jenny replied, brushing her hair back from her eyes. "'He's very aware."

"Good," Alexis said, and Jenny could hear the approval. "I'm glad you're open about everything, Jenny. You need that."

"I know. This is our third try- we've had some bumps along the road," Jenny said, sighing softly. "But third time is a charm, I can feel it. We both want it."

"I'm glad to hear that," Alexis said, and Jenny could hear her smile. "Have you looked at any of the therapists I've given you, Jenny?"

"Not yet. I've had a rather busy week," Jenny replied, rubbing at her forehead with the heel of her hand. "I will get to it though, I promise."

"Well, I have someone I'd prefer you try first," Alexis said, and Jenny perked up, grabbing a pen and an index card. "Her name is Annelise Haven. She's on the young side- she's only 38."

"You realize that she's younger than I am, right Alexis?" Jenny asked, one eyebrow higher than the other as she waited for the older woman to respond.

"She has personal experience with teen trauma, Jenny," Alexis replied, and Jenny fell silent, chewing her lip. "I think she could help you, if you'd let her. Of course it is your decision."

"What's her number?" Jenny asked, jotting it down when Alexis gave it to her. "I'll see when I can get an appointment."

"There are others if you don't like her or don't think she'll work, Jenny," Alexis said, and Jenny made a noise of confirmation. "Just remember that you didn't like me at first either."

"I didn't not like you," Jenny replied, shaking her head. "I just didn't want to be in therapy. I barely wanted to be alive- why the heck would I have wanted to be in therapy, getting help? I wanted everything to end. Without you, I probably would have."

"That was my job," Alexis replied, but there was a warmth in her voice that let Jenny know it was a lot more than a job to the older woman. "How's your father?"

"He died a few years ago," Jenny replied, her voice dropping slightly. "It looked like he committed suicide, but- he never would have done that to me, not after Lizzie."

"Jenny…"

"He didn't kill himself. I know how did, and the problem is over," she interrupted, swallowing down the anger she felt when she though of La Grenouille. "It's in the past."

"Your past is a messy place," Alexis replied and Jenny snorted, nodding.

"Messy doesn't even begin to cover it," she said, looking up when she heard her front door shut, her face breaking out into a soft smile when she caught sight of Jethro. "Alexis, I've got to go. I'll let you know if Annelise works out."

"Alright Jenny. I'll be looking forward to what you have to say," Alexis said, and Jenny said her goodbye, about to hang up when Alexis spoke again. "Have a good time with Jethro."

Jenny rolled her eyes as she disconnected the call, setting her phone on the desk and rounding the wooden piece of furniture, meeting Jethro in the main hall.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today," she said, her hand finding the center of his chest and settling there, feeling the beating of his heart against her fingertips.

"I brought stuff to make dinner," he replied, and Jenny's eyes lit up.

"What did you bring?" she asked as they walked into the kitchen, her leading the way.

"Stuff for pizza," he replied, and she grinned.

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>After the couple had finished their homemade sausage and pepperoni pizza, Jethro brought out the movie he'd rented while at the grocery store, and suggested that they move to the living room to relax.<p>

Jenny was caught off guard by how kind Jethro was being- she wasn't used to it. After brewing a cup of green tea she settled down with Jethro, handing him a beer.

"Thank you," she said, looking up at him, her green eyes soft and content- no shadows were in them tonight, for which Jethro was grateful. He tilted his head, questioning, and she continued. "For doing this. For everything. You didn't have to."

"But I did Jen," he said softly, cupping her cheek and running his thumb over her cheekbone, making her blush. "I know this week has been difficult on you. I just wanted an evening to relax with you."

"I like lazy Sundays," she replied, pressing closer to him and kissing his cheek. "I like you."

"I like you too," he said, but the emotion was thick in his voice- they both caught it.

The words stuck in Jenny's throat, and she tried to push them out, but something held her back. She swallowed, deciding she'd speak at a later date, and she settled against him, her head on his chest.

His arm slid around her shoulders, and she was comfortable.

She was comfortable.

* * *

><p>"<em>Our love was, comfortable and so broken in; she's perfect, so flawless," –'Comfortable', John Mayer [I love this man like no other.]<em>

"_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away. Ricochet, you take your aim, fire away, fire away. You shoot me down but I won't fall; I am titanium," –'Titanium', David Guetto featuring Sia [This song is so good. Just so good. Please go listen to it.]_


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I am SO sorry you were all waiting for so long for this- real life was insanely busy, and my muse just did not want to cooperate with this story. I have SATs on Saturday, but I'm hoping that after that, I'll be able to write more, as band is now over. A HUGE thank you to everyone that's sticking with this story!

I promise this is all planned out, it just needs to be typed out. Hopefully my muse will cooperate with me so that I can finish this.

I've been looking forward to writing this chapter and the next one since I started this story. It was kinda sweet up until this point- not so much. Back to angst, my friends.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_And I still catch you when you fall through a past that steals your sleep," –'Notbroken', Goo Goo Dolls [Love this band, and this song is one of the really good ones from their new-ish album.]_

* * *

><p>The following week was quiet- Team Gibbs solved two simple cases, and Jenny attended a few meetings and lunches with politicians. She'd set up an appointment with Annelise Haven; she was to meet her on Monday for their first session.<p>

On Saturday, Jenny packed a small bag of things to last her the night, and headed over to Jethro's house that evening, grabbing items necessary for a simple chicken and rice dinner for the two of them. She drove herself, giving her security the weekend off after informing them she'd be in safe hands.

His house was awash with lighting when she arrived, his kitchen glowing through the window, and she smiled softly, shutting off her car. Grabbing her things and stepping out of her car, she made her way to the front door, unsurprised to find it unlocked. Closing it behind her she dropped her bag off by the stairs before heading into the kitchen, finding it empty. She set down the groceries on the counter before making her way to the basement, her tennis shoes not giving her away as her heels usually did.

"Jethro?" she asked as she made her way down the stairs, finding him rifling through his workbench.

"Hey Jen," he said, coming to meet her at the foot of the stairs, eyes running over her appreciatively. "You look nice."

Looking down at her simple jeans and long-sleeved green shirt, she raised her eyes to him skeptically, quirking up one eyebrow.

"Have you recently been struck blind?" she asked as they walked up the stairs together, heading towards the kitchen.

"Nah. Just love-struck," he replied nonchalantly, and Jenny shot him a look that he missed when he caught sight of the food supplies in his kitchen. "You brought food?"

"I brought things to make food, yes," she replied, going over to his sink and washing her hands, trying not to puzzle over his words. "Chicken and rice."

"What do you need me to do?" he asked, leaning back against the counter and looking incredibly sexy.

_Stand__right__like__that__and__don__'__t__move._"Just put some water in a pot to boil for the rice," she said, biting her lip as she watched him bend to pick up a pot from a lower cabinet. Shaking herself she moved to the cutting board and pulled out the chicken breasts she had, rinsing them off before beginning to slice them.

They worked together easily, the silence comfortable between them- the sounds of cutting and sizzling and bubbling were soothing background noise, the orchestra of dinner being made. Their movements were easy around each other; no one's toes were stepped on, and no elbows bumped. It was a testament to how well they worked together- and how perfectly they fit together.

Dinner was a quiet affair; they sat close together and enjoyed the atmosphere of an entire evening together. Jenny tried to steal some of the vegetables off of Jethro's plate, and he tapped her fork with his own, lifting his plate up and pushing the food onto hers, causing her to reward him with a kiss on the cheek.

Jethro not-so-subtly watched Jenny while she ate, and he couldn't get over how beautiful she looked when she went casual.

Her cheeks were rosy without any make-up; she glowed in the soft lighting all on her own. Her eyes were radiant, gleaming with soft contentment and pleasure, her lashes glistening in their natural beauty. Her lips were curved upwards, and the lines on her face almost disappeared from view.

He watched as she got up to clear the table, enjoying how comfortable everything was between them. She looked better than she had in the past two weeks, he was glad to see her happy.

After they did the dishes they headed down into his basement, and Jenny curled up on the couch with a book as Jethro worked on his boat, throwing her occasional glances. He discovered she'd fallen asleep about an hour after they'd gone down to the basement, and with a soft smile he covered her with a warm woolen blanket, brushing back her thick crimson curls and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

He picked up his sander and moved to the next rib, the motion repetitive and soothing. The work was slow, but he enjoyed the rhythm he was able to create as he pushed the sander up and down the wood, basking in the feeling under his fingertips. A thin sheen of sweat glistened on his skin as he exerted himself, and he wasn't paying attention when Jenny first began to stir.

Then, Jenny let out a soft cry of distress, and Jethro was immediately alert, tossing the sander aside and going over to Jenny, kneeling by her head.

"Jen, it's okay. You're just having a bad dream," he said softly, stroking her damp hair with one hand as the other cupped her face.

Her eyes blinked open, and they settled on his face momentarily before widening. She sat up, and moved away.

Jethro frowned, and reached to touch her- but she flinched, her hands coming up to protect her face, and his heart stopped.

"Jen-"

"Please don't touch me," she whispered, her voice breaking.

He couldn't breathe.

* * *

><p>AN: I just watched the new NCIS…I think that 'Devil's Triangle' is my new favorite episode. I love Diane was a passion- and I now ship Diane/Gibbs SO HARD.

I know this is short- I'm sorry, but this was a cliffhanger I wanted to have. Next chapter will be longer and more detailed and have a new, VERY important OC in it!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: *looks at last update, then today's current date* I am SO sorry guys. I did not mean to leave this cliffhanger for as long as I did. I hope this chapter makes up for it; it's rather long, and very important.

I've been very uninspired lately, and so even though I've had the opportunity to write, nothing has come out. Part of it may be to blame on the fact that these new NCIS episodes have basically killed the idea of Jibbs, and part because my personal life has been pretty rocky recently. Either way, I'm hoping my faith in Jibbs comes back soon- I miss my Jibbs muse; she seems to have left me, and my DEmily (Criminal Minds) muse has replaced her.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_And there's a danger in loving somebody too much, and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch," –'Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough', Patty Smyth and Don Henley [A friend turned me on to this song- she knows who she is :)]_

* * *

><p><em>The children's park was a ghost town as Jenny walked through it; the swings moved with the wind, and leaves rustled in the slide.<em>

_She was alone for what felt like the first time in weeks; she'd skipped school and was just walking through the park, enjoying the silence. She knew the Colonel was going to be angry with her when he discovered she'd cut class, but she didn't care. She wanted to get away from Lizzie's concern and Bobby's abuse; from her prying teachers and the concern of her guidance counselor._

_She just wanted a moment of peace. She never had any peace in her life anymore._

_The dead leaves that November brought crunched under her feet, breaking underneath the thick rubber soles of her tennis shoes. She pulled her thin black cardigan closer to her thin body, her arms aching against the sleeves._

_She walked slowly over to the swings, taking a seat in the one farthest to the left and wrapping her arms around the cold metal chain, shivering as she cursed herself for not grabbing a thicker coat on her way out the door. Leaning back she began to pump slightly, pushing herself forward on the swing as her feet left the ground._

_She didn't care that she was seventeen and swinging like a five year old. She should be in school; checking her watch, she concluded that she would be in Economics with Lizzie. Her best friend was going to kill her when she found she'd skipped, but she honestly didn't care about facing the blonde's wrath. It would be cake compared to Bobby's anger._

_Jenny slowed the motions of the swing, resting her head against the freezing metal of the chains and closing her eyes, a headache forming directly behind her eyes. She sighed, her body relaxing as she leaned into the chain, wishing something would change and make things easier._

_She felt like she was drifting; she was lost in a sea of her own making, and she was drowning in her choices._

_Behind her closed eyes, images danced, and she let her mind go where it pleased._

_She was safe when her eyes were closed._

* * *

><p><em>She was somewhere warm.<em>

_Opening her eyes, the Eiffel Tower glimmered in front of her, sparkling as the hour struck. The twinkling lights danced in her vision, and she softened, the pleasant memory of Paris washing over her. She felt light, like air, and her lips curved upwards._

_Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she went with the motion easily, relaxing against the broad chest that touched her back. Warm lips brushed her neck, and a contented sigh left her lips as she closed her eyes, tilting her head backwards._

_He hit the sensitive spot she knew he would, and bit her lip against the moan, remembering they were in public. She turned her head, but couldn't see Jethro's face from the awkward angle._

"_Jethro, stop it!" she whispered, shaking her head as her soft laughter echoed over the cobblestone streets. She expected to hear his voice in reply, but went cold at the dark tone that was offered in return to her words._

"_Why Jen?"_

_That was Bobby's voice._

_She pulled out of his arms and turned around, expecting to see Bobby's muscular frame and dark brown eyes. Instead, her heart stopped as she gazed at the silver haired man in front of her._

"_Jethro," she whispered, her voice clogged with tears. His eyes grew concerned, and she thought maybe she'd imagined that voice leaving his lips._

"_What's wrong Jenny?" he asked, but it was Bobby's voice, his condescending tone. "Why are you looking at me like that?"_

"_Stop," she whispered, shaking her head as tears pricked her eyes. "Stop it, stop it, stop it."_

"_C'mon Red. Lighten up," Jethro said in Bobby's voice, and Jenny let out a soft cry, shaking her head even more as a hand covered her mouth and she began to move backwards, away from him. She didn't realize the edge of the canal was so close and she stumbled, her arms flailing. Jethro reached out for her, and this time it was his voice_

"_Jen, it's okay. You're just having a bad dream."_

_But it was too late. She lost her footing, hands waving in all directions as she tried to keep her balance._

_She fell and-_

Her eyes opened and she didn't know where she was; it was dark and she couldn't see. Then she saw Jethro's face, and she shrunk away from him, bristling. She moved away, and confusion colored his face.

She didn't like the idea of hurting him, but a loud voice in her head said that she needed to get away from him.

His hands reached out to touch her, and she flinched, making his stop, his face frozen as her hands lifted upwards, attempting to protect her face.

"Jen-"

"Please don't touch me," she whispered, her voice breaking. She heard him stop breathing, and then tears began to pour down her cheeks, relentless.

Her shoulders shook as she cried into her palms, everything hurting everywhere. She was alone, and she could hear the restless movement of Jethro a few feet from her. She didn't want to be crying alone, but the nightmare was still so fresh.

How could she look at him and not hear Bobby's voice leaving his lips?

"Jenny," she heard him whispered, and her hitching breath caught in her throat as she looked at him hesitantly through tear-coated lashes. A few tissues were in his hand, and his eyes were soft yet unreadable. She accepted the issues with a halted nod, and he retreated away from her.

Her heart was breaking, and she couldn't breathe and she just wanted everything to go back to before this and-

"I need you," she whispered, her voice cracking as it left her lips, and she swallowed. "But I don't know if I can let you near me."

"Why not, Jenny?" he asked, his voice hoarse as he stepped closer, but kept his distance.

"Because it hurts," she replied, and she could feel him wince beside her. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked away, because she was hurting herself just as much as she was hurting him with her words. But the nightmare kept popping into her head and the knife dug deeper in her chest.

"Do you wanna talk about the nightmare?" he asked, his voice quiet as he stood. Jenny covered her face with her hands, taking a deep breath. He didn't push anymore, and she was glad. Gathering her courage, she spoke.

"You had Bobby's voice," she said, and the words echoed loudly in the silent basement. She was sure he had stopped breathing. "It was like he was inside you."

Her breath caught in her throat again, and she looked away, blinking as more tears filled her eyes.

"I don't want to think about this anymore. Jethro you aren't him, but I look at you and I hear him," she said, her heart shattering at the words that were leaving her lips. "But I need you to hold me."

"Close your eyes," he whispered, and she did, her chest heaving in the effort of keeping composed. Gently, so gently she didn't even flinch, his hands touched her arms, and when she was a little more comfortable, he wrapped her in a hug. She leaned into him, her eyes pressed tightly closed as his scent enveloped her. She clung to him, tears starting anew.

But one thing remained- she did not open her eyes, because of one simple fact.

She was safe when her eyes were closed.

* * *

><p>The therapist's office was sterile.<p>

It was the Monday of her appointment. Jenny has taken off the rest of the afternoon, because she didn't know how she was going to feel after this session. She hadn't spoken to Jethro since she'd left his house early Sunday morning; he had been asleep. She hadn't seen him at work today.

She still cringed on the inside at the thought of the nightmare. It sent shivers down her spine, and she closed her eyes, pushing away the thoughts. She couldn't go into this appointment with anything like that weighing on her mind.

"Jennifer Shepard?"

A woman with dark brown hair that looked almost reddish as she moved stood in the doorway to the office, a clipboard in hand as she read the name. She had dark brown eyes and a clear complexion, her Italian roots shining through in her good looks.

"Jenny," the redhead replied, and the brunette made a note on her paper.

"Come on in, Jenny," she said, standing aside to let her in. Once in the room the woman set her clipboard down on her desk and stuck out her hand, which Jenny shook firmly.

"I'm Dr. Annelise Haven," she said, introducing herself. Jenny looked her over, still impressed with her beauty. The only thing that caught her off guard was that the woman had to still be in her early thirties, which she hadn't been prepared for. "Though I'm going to assume you knew that already. You can call me Annelise, Anne, Doctor, whatever you chose. I'm partial to Anne, but that's just me."

Jenny already liked this woman. She had an air of caring without being overbearing, and her witty comments made the room feel lighter than she'd expected.

"I prefer Jenny to Jennifer, so I know how you feel," she replied, and Annelise smiled, her eyes twinkling in the corners.

"Well Jenny, we may as well get down to business," Annelise said and Jenny nodded, sinking down into the soft chair opposite the large wooden desk. Annelise sat down in the spinning chair behind the desk, slipping off her brown clogs and folding her legs beneath her. She had bright blue and green argyle socks on, and Jenny almost couldn't hold in the laughter. The socks were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen on a professional, and she loved it. "So. Want to tell me why you're here?"

"Where to start?" Jenny asked, a bemused smile on her face. "How much did Alexis tell you, exactly?"

"Just that she had a patient to refer to me that I had just the knowledge for," Annelise replied, her purple pen poised over her paper, ready to jot down notes.

"Well, I guess you could say it all started when I met a boy named Bobby Austin," Jenny began, slipping into the tale that defined her high school years. Annelise took attentive notes throughout, nodding occasionally, or sending Jenny a look to convey her support.

"You've been through a lot," Annelise commented, her pen still flying as lilac words streaked the crisp, lined paper.

"That's just high school," Jenny replied, a slightly bitter laugh leaving her lips. Annelise's eyebrows rose, and she looked at Jenny pointedly.

"Please do go on," the brunette said, and Jenny took a deep breath before continuing. She told the story of her father's murder and subsequently joining NCIS and meeting Jethro. A love story set in Paris was spun through the lips of a Siren, her eyes gone soft and her voice lost its previous edge.

The edge came back as mentions of planes and coats and choices came to be, and then the story's setting changed to Cairo, where there was a tone of despair as the storyteller continued to speak. A new job offer was described, and a dreaded reunion was spoken of. There was a kidnapping, a rekindled romance, and another tragic ending as one half of the pair escaped to Mexico with no memory of their second chance at happiness. Then, one of the first smiles all session was glimpsed as the words "back together" were spoken, and there was no sad ending this time.

"You have a very unique relationship," Annelise observed, and Jenny cracked a smile.

"Unique is one way to put it," she replied, and the corners of Annelise's mouth turned up.

"So you're together now," Annelise stated, clearly making sure she had the information right. "Amidst whatever it is you're going through now that made you decide to see a therapist again."

"Yes," Jenny replied, answering the question but not going into detail just yet.

"Third time's a charm," Annelise commented, and Jenny smiled; she'd uttered them so many times recently. "So. What's been going on exactly that you decided to seek out someone to see again?"

"Well, I most likely should not have stopped seeing Alexis in the first place," Jenny answered, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "I wasn't ready to be on my own, but I was suffocating in my old life and so I made myself ready for school. Then, as you've been told, things clearly disintegrate each time I face some form of conflict."

"I take it you've faced some form of conflict recently?" Annelise asked, and Jenny nodded, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her hand.

"Bobby was a suspect in a case last week, in my agency. I haven't exactly been handling it in the best way possible. Patricia urged me to seek out someone who could help."

"I'm glad you did," Annelise said, and Jenny offered her a small smile. "Now, Patricia is Lizzie and Ashley's mother?"

Jenny nodded as the therapist perused her notes, tapping the correct name with her pen happily upon finding it.

"So what do you want from me, Jenny?" she asked, looking up at the redhead and tilting her head slightly, her stick-straight hair cascading down her shoulder.

"I want you to help me deal with my emotions in ways other than cutting. Because I can't keep letting myself resort to that. It's killing me," Jenny replied, lifting heavy green eyes to soft brown ones.

"I think I can help you," Annelise said, setting her clipboard and notepad down and knotting her fingers together. "You just have to let me."

Jenny nodded, swallowing. Annelise caught her gaze and held it, and there was understanding in her eyes that she couldn't comprehend just yet; she wasn't ready to.

But her journey with Dr. Annelise Haven was only just beginning.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Only eleven days between updates- not as bad as before. I do apologize for my lapse; apparently, my muse will only write prompt-induced one-shots. Hopefully I'll be able to finish this story up within the next few weeks; I have everything planned, and we're over half-way there now.

I'm really sorry if I didn't reply to your review on this story; the past few days have been insane with Black Friday shopping and not being home and just life being crazy in general. I appreciate anyone that takes the time to read and review my stuff!

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_I need to be bold, need to jump in the cold water, need to grow older with a girl like you. Finally see you were naturally, the one to make it so easy when you show me the truth," –"I'd Rather Be With You", Joshua Radin [This song is so cute and sweet. I just love it so.]_

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><p>Jenny walked out of Annelise's office feeling better than she had all week.<p>

They'd talked a bit more about her past, and what her current job was. Jenny hadn't mentioned the nightmare as their time had run out, but she knew she had to tell someone. So she called Patricia, and upon finding out the older woman was free, set up a lunch date with her for that afternoon.

Forty minutes later they met in a small diner near Patricia's house, and Jenny had changed into comfortable, casual clothes. Patricia nodded in approval of her worn-out jeans and simple green long-sleeved shirt, and Jenny tucked her loose hair behind her ear as she took a seat in the booth seat across from her friend.

"Hello Jenny. You look very nice," Patricia said, and her gray eyes glittered with teasing. Jenny rolled her eyes, pushing her sleeves up over her elbows. "So, how was your session?"

"It went surprisingly well, actually," Jenny said, and Patricia sat forward, curiosity in her eyes. "Her name is Annelise Haven, and Alexis recommended her to me."

"And you told her everything?" Patricia asked, raising an eyebrow at the younger woman. "No sugarcoating?"

"I told her the truth," Jenny answered, sitting back against the booth and running a hand through her hair. "I do want this to work, Patricia. And it won't work if I don't tell her the truth."

"I'm glad to hear that, Jenny," Patricia said, her eyes soft as she gazed at the redhead. Jenny bit her lip and played with her napkin, tearing the corner off. "Something's on your mind. Want to talk about it?"

Startled, Jenny looked up, cheeks flooding pink as she met Patricia's gaze. Rubbing her palm over the back of her neck she sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

"I had a nightmare," she started, her gaze on her hands. Patricia looked at her, obviously waiting for her to continue. Blowing out a breath, she did. "It started out as the day I skipped school and walked around the children's park. Then, it was a memory from Paris with Jethro."

"That doesn't exactly sound like a nightmare, Jenny," Patricia said gently, and Jenny rubbed at her eyes, looking up at Patricia after a moment.

"Jethro had Bobby's voice," she whispered, watching as the gray eyes across from her widened, understanding filling the kind irises. Jenny looked away, closing her own eyes against irritating tears that threatened to spill over. "Now every single time I so much as look at him I hear Bobby's voice, even if he isn't speaking. And it's killing me, Patricia."

"Jenny, you cannot let something like that rule you," Patricia said, her warm hand covering Jenny's, the younger woman jerking slightly at the unexpected contact. "Jethro is not Bobby."

"I know that," Jenny replied, her voice turning hard as she looked at Patricia, green eyes wet. "But I can't help that that's how my brain works."

"Jenny, your brain is taking your worst fear and torturing you with it," Patricia told her, forcing the redhead to look at her. "Jethro would never harm you, you know that. You can't keep stressing over this dream, it will eat you up inside."

"But every time I look at him…" Jenny started helplessly, but cut herself off, closing her eyes and pressing her palms into her face. She tried to control her emotions, but everything just felt so wrong, and heavy, and she wanted everything to go back to the way it had been before that stupid dream.

A waitress came over and set a large pot of coffee down on the table, jolting Jenny out of her pity party and back into the present. Jenny filled her ceramic mug with trembling hands, though she managed to get all the liquid into the cup and not on the table. Bringing the mug to her lips she took a sip, closing her eyes against the heat that flooded her mouth with the coffee. It wasn't half bad for a diner brew, and she quickly drained the cup.

"Thirsty, Jen?" Patricia asked, merely raising her eyebrow at the younger woman as Jenny filled her mug up a second time. Amusement danced in her storm gray eyes, and Jenny bit her lip against the smile.

"I haven't had much coffee today," she replied, shrugging as she sat back, hands cradling the warm mug. "It's my life source."

"That isn't healthy," Patricia said, but didn't push the issue anymore. Jenny glanced around the diner, finding only two other people there; an older man at the counter and a young woman cutting coupons from a weekend circular a few booths down.

"How's Ashley?" Jenny asked, breaking the momentarily silence before taking another sip of her coffee, enjoying the burn it gave as it slid down her throat. Patricia said, pinching the bridge of her nose in her thumb and pointer finger before looking at Jenny.

"They aren't talking at the moment," Patricia answered, her voice weary. "Giselle and Lilly stayed the night a few days ago, because they didn't want to be around the ice castle their house has become. Beth is practically counting down the days until graduation, and Christian just never leaves his room anymore. I'm beginning to worry."

"Have they tried to work out Steven's work schedule?" Jenny asked, eyes darkened with concern as she traced the rim of her coffee mug with her pinky finger. "If it's starting to affect the kids it's serious."

"I know she and Steven can work things out if they only talked. But Ashley is blaming everything on him, and not taking any credit," Patricia said, and she sounded clearly frustrated with her daughter. "It's just going to take a good knock in the head for her to realize what she has to do."

"I'm good at knocking people in the head," Jenny said neutrally, and Patricia's eyes rose to meet Jenny's, a gray eyebrow quirking up.

Then both women burst out into laughter, and all the tension that had been between them dissipated. Jenny caught her friend's eye across the table and smiled- a genuine smile.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day after all.

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><p>"<em>You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me, a light in the dark shining your love into my life. You've been my inspiration; through the lies you were the truth- my world is a better place because of you," –'Because You Loved Me', Celine Dion [There are a handful of people that this song makes me think of- one in particular, definitely. :)]<em>

A/N: I apologize if this seems too rushed- I was ooVoo-ing Kristina while writing. Blame her. ;) I'm off to watch the 'The Closer' and 'Rizzoli and Isles' premieres- have a wonderful night everyone! :)


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I am working on getting these chapters out sooner! I apologize once again for the lapse; I had some personal problems occur this past week and I just haven't been in the place to write. I may be disappearing off the site for a bit; those that know me, you know how to contact me if I do vanish.

I am the queen of emotional breakdowns.

_"Show me how it ends it's alright; show me how defenseless you really are," -'So Cold', Breaking Benjamin_

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><p>Jenny returned to work the next day exhausted; she'd been up half the night working on case files, and when she had finally fallen into a fitful sleep at two am, she'd had a terrifying nightmare that she hadn't remembered when she'd been awoken by her alarm at five thirty.<p>

She'd showered quickly and grabbed the first thing she'd laid her hands on- a beige sweater with a floral button-up blouse and a pair of slim khaki pants. She hadn't bothered brewing her own coffee; she'd had Melvin stop at Starbucks and Hector had gotten her a strong cup of Jamaican blend coffee with an extra shot of espresso, per her request.

She sipped it as she rode the elevator up to her office; she was the only one in the office so early in the morning. Or so she thought.

She had just reached her outer office and was unlocking it when she heard Tony DiNozzo's jovial voice proclaiming that it was time for them to eat something. Turning, she discovered Ziva and McGee following Tony into the bullpen from the Autopsy elevator, and her heart rate increased ever-so-slightly.

Just as she expected Jethro followed a foot or so behind them, his face looking exhausted and drawn. Jenny bit her lip as she watched him walk towards his desk, reaching inside and rifling around for his wallet, pulling it out of the bottom drawer and slipping it into his back pocket. He nodded his head to Tony and the younger man headed to the elevator, Ziva and McGee's orders in his hand on a slip of paper.

Ziva looked up and met her gaze just as she was turning back to the door to finish unlocking it, and she shrugged her shoulders, avoiding the Israeli's concerned chocolate eyes. She knew as soon as she stepped into her office she would be attacked by her friend, and she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to lie again.

Jenny unlocked both offices and then rounded her desk, setting her purse on the wooden surface and shrugging off her pea coat, storing it in her cabinet before returning to her desk and taking a sip of her coffee, shivering as the caffeine rushed through her veins. She placed the files she'd finished in a pile, preparing to take them out to Cynthia's desk, when she heard the quiet throat-clearing that was Ziva's arrival into the room. Looking up she discovered her friend standing in the space between the desk and the door.

"Officer David," Jenny said, nodding towards the dark-haired woman as she stood, stacks of folders in each arm. The Israeli raised an eyebrow at the formal greeting, her lips curled into a questioning curve.

"Director Shepard," she replied in an even voice, watching the redhead as she placed the files on her assistant's desk. "It is an early morning for you."

"And a late night for you and the team, I see," Jenny countered, her eyebrow quirked up. Ziva allowed a small smile, her eyes still searching Jenny's green ones.

"The case is proving more difficult than we anticipated," she replied, her hands resting comfortably in her pockets as she regarded the older woman. "Gibbs' surliness did not help."

Jenny didn't have a quick reply for this statement; her breath caught slightly in her throat and she looked at her hands, trying to control her heartbeat. She knew it was the fault of her reaction to the nightmare, but she didn't know how to fix it any more than Ziva did.

"So you are aware of the fact that he is upset," Ziva stated; it wasn't really a question. Jenny sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose before nodding grudgingly, not meeting Ziva's questioning gaze. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Caught slightly off guard by the offer Jenny shook her head, tucking a loose strand of red hair behind her ear as she took a deep breath, raising her eyes to Ziva's. Her chest was tight with emotion, a weight heavy on her lungs as she filled them with oxygen.

"It's nothing, Ziva," Jenny said, the lie slipping out easily. She sounded so confident that Ziva's eyes lightened, clearly believing her. "It'll be sorted out in the next few days."

"Are you sure you are alright, Jenny?" Ziva asked, though the redhead could tell the Israeli bought her bull. The sounds of Tony's raised voice could be heard, and Jenny knew that Ziva would want her breakfast.

"I'm fine, Ziva," Jenny assured her, offering her a hint of a smile. "Go and get your breakfast."

"Thank you, Director," Ziva said, giving the older woman a full smile before exiting, leaving the door open. Jenny leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, her lies weighing on her. The hole in the center of her chest gaped wider, leaving her cold and hurting, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming.

Everything just hurt so much. She was dying slowly, cell by cell, as her emotions ate away at her from the inside out.

Leaning forward she pressed her palms into the edge of the table, the wood cutting into her skin as she clenched her eyes shut, biting her lip. The pain radiated from her hands, and it gave her something to focus on other than the guilt that was driving her towards the bathroom, even though she knew there were razors there. She'd find some way to make herself hurt.

She was so focused on her palms and the desk edge she didn't hear the person enter her office and silently shut the door; didn't notice their presence until the set of warm palms covered hers and eased them off of the desk, holding them tenderly. She knew the hands that held hers though; she'd know those calluses anywhere.

"Jenny."

His voice was soft, gentle, like a warm summer breeze. She clung to it, tried to focus on that, but already she was missing the pain of the wood on her palms. She didn't open her eyes, because she couldn't handle the voice she'd hear if she saw his face.

"I can't let you do this Jen," he said, and she could feel the tears building behind her eyelids; they needed to be released, but that would require her to open her eyes and she couldn't do that; she just couldn't. "Please let me help you."

His voice wavered ever so slightly in his last word, and that was when she broke. Leaning forward blindly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. His arms came around her, clutching her closer as tears ran down her cheeks, dampening his shirt as her hand fisted in the collar, pulling him closer to her.

He pressed a kiss to her hair, letting her cry as she pressed her nose into his neck, breathing in as she tried to stem the flow of tears. His hand rubbed her back gently, soothing her as best he could.

She didn't want to look at him and hear Bobby. She felt so fragile, so breakable; like she would crumble if he merely looked at her.

But she needed to fix this; she needed to be strong enough to reassure him. Because while this was killing her, it was hurting him too.

Slowly she opened her eyes, tears drying on her cheeks as she adjusted to the lighting in the room. She turned to her gaze to him, and relief filled her when she didn't hear Bobby's voice.

He looked so hesitant, her already fractured heart throbbed. He didn't deserve this. He didn't need her emotional breakdowns to screw up his life.

She didn't want to be his burden.

"Jethro," she whispered, watching as his eyes widened, their cobalt blue shaded with worry and concern and she thought love might have been in there but she couldn't be sure because fear was the darkest shadow. "I don't hear him anymore."

He nodded, unsure as to what his reaction should be. In all honesty she didn't know either; things were rocky, and she didn't want to push anything.

Raising one shaky hand he pushed a stray curl behind her ear, and she closed her eyes at the motion, her chest tight again. He cupped her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone, the room silent aside from their breathing.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, and she was so caught off guard she froze, unable to react. "I'm sorry this happened Jenny. I'm sorry I couldn't help."

She was so astounded by the fact that he had broken his rule it took her a moment to open her eyes and look at him, taking in all the lines that creased his face, all the emotions crossing through his eyes.

"This wasn't your fault," she said softly, shaking her head. He opened his mouth to object and she covered it with her finger, stopping him. "It is not your fault that I have nightmares and am haunted by Bobby. It will never be your fault for not being able to help me because oftentimes I don't know how to help myself either. I will never blame you for not knowing how to solve my problems, Jethro. Never."

His eyes looked so pained she had to stop, turning her head as tears threatened to spill over once again. She took a deep breath, calming herself back down, and turned back to face him.

"This isn't your fault," she whispered once again, unable to say anymore. He swallowed, looking down at her palms that were cradled in his own. They were read and slightly swollen, a thick, slightly-raised welt cutting across them from where she'd pressed into the desk edge. His fingers danced over it, whispers across her skin.

"It feels like it is," he said in quiet reply, standing up and looking at her with something a lot like sadness in his eyes. "I've got to get back to the case. I'll be back in an hour."

She watched him walk away, her heart breaking with each step he took away from her. He closed her door without a sound, and she simply stared at it for a few moments, trying to collect herself.

She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, turning the faucet on cold and splashing some water on her face. She washed away the tear tracks, taking in her reddened eyes and puffy face.

She could barely recognize the woman in the mirror staring back at her; her eyes were shaded and troubled, pain etched in every surface of her being. She stood tall but her shoulders held the weight of a thousand memories that could break her at any moment. The wrinkles under and around her eyes made her feel older than she was, but she attributed that to not sleeping and her job and just her life in general.

She felt so worn down.

Where had the vibrant girl gone? She'd been so happy, so carefree- things had been easy. But easy never lasted and now she was left with a shell of herself. She felt so empty sometimes.

She looked into the mirror, at the green eyes that didn't mask the pain at all, and couldn't help but wonder why she continually put everyone through her pain.

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><p>"<em>I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most, I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well," –'The Lonely', Christina Perri [I don't really think anyone knows how much this song defines my life.]<em>


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I am not starting any more stories without having them over half-finished. I hate not being able to update because of my stupid muse, and things like the stomach bug and real life and other silly things. So I'm sorry this has taken so long!

This was meant to go out with a very, very Happy Birthday wish to Jibbsgal1, because I love her very much, but life got in the way yesterday. SO- it is my belated birthday gift to her! :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Another night settles in as quickly as it goes, the memories of shadows, ink on the page- and I can't seem to find my way home," –'Far From Home', Five Finger Death Punch [This song is just phenomenal. It's one of this group's softer songs, and it holds a lot of meaning. I definitely recommend listening to it.]_

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><p>The rest of the day was a blur for Jenny; she was in her office for a while longer before spending the rest of her day locked in MTAC. She knew she was distracted; the agent stationed in Cairo had had to repeat her question three times before it had registered enough for Jenny to answer it. Once the mission was completed and she was able to leave, she knew it was time to go home, and finish her necessary files at home.<p>

She packed up slowly, gathering all her necessary items before slipping on her pea coat, flipping her hair out of the collar and closing her eyes momentarily, feeling incredibly tired. She opened her eyes when she heard her door shut, finding Jethro standing in the doorway looking at her with shaded eyes.

"Jen?" he asked, and she met his gaze, tilting her head slightly. "I came back to your office and you were in MTAC."

"I had a mission in Cairo," she replied, shrugging slightly as she fiddled with a button on her coat sleeve. "Took up the rest of my day."

"I didn't see Cynthia bring you food. Do you want to get dinner?" he asked, moving a few steps closer to her. "We've got a break in the case, waiting for DiNozzo and McGee to get me something."

"I think I'm just going to go home," Jenny replied, biting her lip. "I have some files to finish, and I think I should need to try to sleep."

Jethro nodded, but his shoulders sagged slightly, making her wince a little.

"I'm sorry Jethro," she whispered, her fingers gripping her sleeves. "I just can't do this right now."

"Don't apologize, Jen," he replied, shaking his head. "Never apologize for that."

Jenny took a deep breath, grabbing her briefcase from her desk and meeting him in the middle of her office.

"Walk me to the elevator?" she asked, compromising. He nodded, his fingers settling lightly on her lower back. Jenny stopped briefly to tell Cynthia to go home, and then at the elevator, she kissed Jethro on the cheek, giving him a partial smile.

They didn't say anything- their eyes said everything for them.

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><p>He didn't know what to do anymore.<p>

Jenny was so distant he just truly didn't know what to do anymore. How could he handle all of Jenny's emotions? It was killing him slowly, because he felt like he was watching her distance herself slowly. And he felt like he couldn't stop it.

He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do, and watching her suffer killed him on the inside because he hated to see Jenny cry. Jenny was strong, and confident- it hurt him to see her so broken and fragile.

He wondered how her therapy session had gone; he hadn't talked to her about it, and he knew he should. If this woman could help Jenny so that she wasn't so inclined to cut, and get Jenny to talk about her past, then he should be more willing to hear about her sessions.

He just wanted to see Jenny smile again. Was that so much to ask? He just wanted to see her smile just because she could.

Looking at the clock, he realized that the chance of him finishing his paperwork had passed, and decided he'd just finish it in the morning. His team had gone home hours ago, but he'd stayed, mulling over Jenny.

Standing, he grabbed his keys before heading for the elevator, intent on heading home before going to Jenny's. He swallowed, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

He needed to see her, if only for a few moments.

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><p>Her house greeted her with a wall of cold air when she arrived home, and as she shed her coat and placed her purse and keys on the table, Jenny shivered slightly. She adjusted her thermostat before heading up her stairs, heels in hand.<p>

Reaching her bedroom, she flicked on the light before placing her heels in her closet, then taking off her sweater and unbuttoning her blouse, placing them in her hamper. Next were her khakis; she tossed them into her hampers as well as she made her way into her bathroom. After a moment of debate she decided to take a bath instead of a shower, and she began to run the water.

The sound of the rushing water began a pounding headache, and she opened the cabinet above the sink for some ibuprofen, thankful once again to Jethro for taking the razors out of her bathroom a few weeks ago.

She caught sight of her pale body in the mirror, and turned away quickly at the image of her scars. She was already hurting enough; she didn't need to add anything else to her declining mood. She grabbed her robe and put it on, covering the lines on her stomach and arms.

Her bath was short; she enjoyed the hot water and the lavender and mint body wash, and then slipped into a pair of yoga pants and a soft purple sweater. Leaving her hair damp and down she padded downstairs and settled into her chair, files stacked everywhere.

It was going to be a long night, she couldn't help but notice as she looked at the folders.

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><p>The house was dark when he pulled up; he hoped that that meant that Jenny was asleep, but it was more likely that she was in her study, reviewing files. He parked his car across the street and then headed for her front door, nodding to her security agent before slipping inside and locking the door behind him.<p>

Her study light was on, and he walked through the front hallway to the room with the intent to tell Jenny it was time for her to go to bed- they could talk tomorrow. He reached the doorway and opened his mouth to speak, but stopped short when he saw her.

She was asleep in her chair, file in her lap. Her head was tipped back against the leather seat, nestled against one of the large wings. Her red hair was like a waterfall down her neck, covering half of her face as she slept, her chest moving evenly with each breath she took. The file she'd been reviewing was resting precariously on the edge of her lap, and he took a few quiet steps over to her and slid the folder out of her sleep-slackened grasp, placing it on her desk with the other papers that were cluttered on the wooden surface.

Jenny looked so peaceful for the first time in days, and with incredibly careful fingers, he brushed some of the strands off of her face, tucking them behind her ear. She stirred slightly but didn't wake, thankfully, and Jethro knew he truly didn't have the heart to rob her of any sleep that she so desperately needed right now, so he mentally prepared himself to carry Jenny up the stairs to bed, because if she slept in the chair all night she'd wake up with a sore back and neck tomorrow and would only be even more miserable.

Gently, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted, and took a few moments to set her in his embrace so that she didn't fall as he walked. He frowned slightly at how light she felt- he knew it was because she wasn't eating. She moved in his arms, stretching slightly as she blinked sleepily- but he could see she wasn't really awake. She looked at him and smiled slightly, closing her eyes again.

"Jethro," she mumbled, but the word was layered in sleep, and he merely kissed her temple lightly as she drifted back off into the land of dreams.

Her head rested on his shoulder as he made his way for the stairs, her breath warm on his neck as she inhaled and exhaled in a steady rhythm. She smelled like lavender and mint; evidence of a bath, which her still slightly-damp hair also suggested. The soft material of her sweater brushed against his upper arms, and his whole body ached inside as he mounted the stairs.

He reached the bedroom rather easily, his back and knees only protesting a little as he walked into the room and set Jenny on the bed. He pulled down the blankets and sheets on her side before lifting her back up and setting her under them, pulling them over her and watching as she adjusted to the comfortable environment. When she was settled he pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, his nose pressed into her hair and his lips to her skin, closing his eyes as he tried to drink everything in, because he didn't know the next time he'd be able to do this again. He pulled back and touched her lips gently with his fingertips, but didn't kiss her like he wanted to.

He turned to leave, his heart breaking a little bit more with each step, intent to sleep on the couch for the night, just to make sure she was safe. He'd only made it a few steps before he heard her sleepy voice from behind him, causing him to pause.

"Stay," she whispered in a sleepy voice, though her tone was sincere. His muscles stiffened slightly, his desire to give in to her overwhelming- but he couldn't hurt her again. "Jethro, please. Stay."

He turned around, blue eyes tormented as he looked at her, so small in the sea of blankets that surrounded her.

"I don't know if I should, Jen," he whispered, his voice raw as it left his throat, leaving it burning as he tried to swallow down the pain. Her green eyes were sleepy but large, emotions flickering across them at the speed of light.

"Please," she whispered, her voice breaking his heart all over again. "Please stay with me tonight. I need you here, with me."

How on earth was he supposed to resist a plea like that? Softening, he made his way to the bed, toeing off his shoes and letting his jeans fall to the floor, climbing into bed in his black t-shirt and boxers. Jenny curled up against him immediately, spooning with him as her body relaxed. She turned after a moment and faced him, eyes closed as she sighed contentedly, one hand on his chest. Eyes still closed she leaned up, kissing his jaw as she drifted off once again.

He thought all of this just might kill him, and very soon. How was his heart supposed to keep up with all of this?

He looked at her as she slept; the way her eyebrows twitched slightly as she dreamt, the way her lips were curved slightly upwards. Her hair was still damp and clung to her neck, and her chest rose and fell evenly as she inhaled and exhaled.

He didn't know how long he watched her. It could have been hours; it could have been minutes. All he knew was that he was caught in her web; he couldn't break free even if he wanted to.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair, his voice breaking a little as the words left his throat. It hurt so much to admit, but this woman held so much power over him.

Jenny made no motion that she had heard, just continued to sleep peacefully, and he found it better that way.

The longer those words were just whispered into the silence, the longer he kept some part of his sanity.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Alright. Not quite so long between chapters this time. I am working on finishing this by mid-February at the latest; we've only got about eleven chapters after this, and the planning is pretty much gotten to the point where the chapters are practically written in my notebook- it's just a matter of typing them. Thank you to everyone that continues to read this story- it always makes me smile to read your reviews!

This chapter was really emotional to write, and I honestly don't know why. It was just really difficult, for some reason- that's why it's a bit shorter. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next few chapters up relatively quickly- fingers crossed.

Disclaimer: I own the plot and my OCs.

"_I'll fix these broken things, repair your broken wings, and make sure everything's alright," –'This Love', Maroon 5 [I love everything by this band, especially their older stuff. This song is one of my favorites, without a doubt. The whole song just screams Jibbs- particularly the beginning.]_

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><p>The first thing that registered when Jenny woke up was that she was in someone's arms, in a bed.<p>

She did not remember falling asleep, or getting in bed; she also did not remember Jethro coming home. But she would recognize that scent anywhere, and she relaxed slightly knowing that it was Jethro that was holding her. But things were still so complicated between the two of them; they needed to talk, and lying curled up in his arms was not going to fix anything.

And, there was the whole idea that she didn't remember him coming to bed last night to deal with.

She carefully removed herself from his embrace without waking him, heading into the bathroom and closing the door silently. Glancing in the mirror she sighed, running a hand through her hair. She looked tired, but she was used to that- exhaustion was just a part of her life; it always had been. She needed to straighten her hair, and get dressed, and do her make-up.

And yet all she really, truly wanted to do was curl back up in bed with Jethro and never leave. Not worry about the agency, or the turmoil that was her past, or the problems in her current relationship with him. Just lay under the covers with him, blocking everything else out, and just being. Not even making love- just laying together in the dark, silent.

But real life never let that happen- forever moving forward, there was no time for moments like those in her life.

So with a yawn she turned on her straightener, letting it heat up as she washed her face, trying to wake herself up with the warm water, but not really succeeding. The straightener still hadn't beeped by the time she'd finished, and so she warily opened the bathroom door to choose her outfit, hoping Jethro was still asleep but not expecting it.

He was still in bed, but awake, when she stepped into the bedroom. Jenny didn't say anything to him as she headed for her closet, rifling through until she found a pair of dark navy pants and a pale pink blouse, finding the appropriate underclothes before turning around, finding Jethro watching her curiously, though silently.

"Jen," he said, tilting his head slightly, clearly trying to read her.

"When did you get here last night?" Jenny asked, needing to know the answer before she could do anything else. A strange look crossed his face, and her heart felt funny. Jethro never looked confused.

"You don't remember asking me to stay?" he asked, his voice going hoarse on the last word. Jenny bit her lip, her stomach twisting itself into knots as she met his shadowed eyes. Her heart tore a little as she shook her head, and he looked away, closing his eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck with his palm.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears pricking her eyes as she looked in the opposite direction, her heart in her throat.

"Don't apologize Jen," he replied, shaking his head as he sat up, bringing one knee up closer to his body. "You were half-asleep."

"I should at least remember something Jethro!" Jenny cried, tears of frustration and exhaustion and pain budding behind her lids. "I don't even remember falling asleep!"

"You were at your desk," Jethro replied, and Jenny tried to swallow back the tears, choking on the emotion. "You're exhausted all the time, Jenny. It's no wonder you fell asleep; you need to get some rest this weekend."

Jenny's teeth sunk even further into her lip, her arms tightening their grip on her clothes. She nodded, once, needing an escape from this conversation. Jethro's shoulders sagged, and a knife stabbed her heart- she was hurting him so much.

"Go get ready," he eventually said in a quiet voice, rubbing at his eyes and not looking at her. "I have to go home and change. I'll see you at work."

She nodded, unable to breathe, and walked to the bathroom without looking back because she knew it would hurt too much. She shut the door and sank to the floor, clothes still in hand, as the tears ran down her cheeks silently.

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom, ready. She was dressed and her hair straightened; make-up had fixed her blotchy skin and red eyes, and she headed downstairs quietly.<p>

She'd already decided she was taking a half day; she had no meetings or lunches, and she just couldn't handle any more work today. Her files could wait; she'd catch up eventually. Just not today.

She reached the kitchen and found breakfast waiting; eggs in the frying pan and coffee brewing. She bit her lip as more tears formed behind her lids; Jethro was trying to so hard and it was killing her because she wanted so badly to be what he deserved.

She ate the food, working up the nerve to get to work, knowing Hector and Melvin were simply waiting for her to finish so that they could drive her to the agency.

But in that moment she knew she couldn't go. Not today. Everything hurt too much and she felt like she was drowning; she couldn't go to work, not when she felt like this.

She called Cynthia and told her she wouldn't be in; she was taking a personal day, and any phone calls could leave messages for her to look at tomorrow. Only the SecNav would be forwarded to her cell; otherwise, she would not be taking professional calls. She dismissed Hector and Melvin, telling them to go see their families; they never did anymore.

Once they had left, she changed into jeans and a long-sleeved black t-shirt, grabbing her leather jacket as she pocketed her cell phone and hooked her car keys on her finger, walking out the door and into the sunlight.

She was at the cemetery before she knew it, and she quickly made her way to Lizzie's gravesite, needing her best friend so much the whole in her chest ached like an icicle in her heart. She sat down in the warm grass, crossing her legs and tracing the engraved lettering with her fingers.

"I miss you so much Liz," she whispered, tears pricking her eyes again. "I really need my best friend right now."

Silence fell, only the sound of the trees moving in the wind reaching her ears. She sighed, closing her eyes as she laid back, the only person around.

"My relationship is so fucked up Liz," she said eventually, eyes still closed. "I don't know why Jethro still puts up with me. I'm like a goddamn jackrabbit; I freak out at everything and I hurt him at every turn. Why does he stay, Liz? Why doesn't he give up?"

She didn't get an answer, but maybe she didn't need one. Maybe this was one of those questions that could never truly be answered except by the man himself, and she couldn't bring herself to talk to him at the moment. But some day she would ask Jethro why he stayed- why he didn't give up on her.

And maybe then she would understand.

"I wish you were here Lizzie," Jenny said softly, eyes wide open as she looked at the passing clouds. She didn't care that she was Director of NCIS- at the moment, she was just a forty two year old woman who missed her best friend so much it physically hurt.

She still felt seventeen on the inside, and she let a few tears slip down her cheeks and catch in the grass that covered Lizzie's grave- she felt safe here.

* * *

><p>After two hours of just lying on Lizzie's grave, Jenny returned home, exhausted. She thought about taking a nap, but decided against it- she wasn't tired enough to sleep. Instead, she walked into her study, finding the card with Maddie's number on it.<p>

Dialing the number on her cell, she waited for the line to pick up, frowning when she had to leave a message.

"Hello Maddie, it's Jenny Shepard. I was just calling to check in on you, and see how you've been. I've been thinking about you- remember that my door is always open if you ever need anything. I hope you're doing alright, Maddie. Please give me a call back when you can."

Ending the call, she rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes for a moment. Pain registered in her neck, and she realized if she stayed in this position her body was going to hate her. Lifting her head, she made a decision.

A nap wasn't looking so bad after all.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Well. So much for quicker updates. My muse just seems to hate this story right now, even though it's planned out, so my goal of finishing it by mid-February probably won't happen, sadly. I've recently started watching about a million other shows, as crazy as that sounds (Castle, Glee, Gossip Girl, and Doctor Who), so I may not be as present in the NCIS fandom as I once was. I'll still be here, I promise, but my Jibbs muse is just…incredibly difficult right now, it seems. If you know me, give me a kick every once in a while to get me writing again. Okay?

I also know for a fact that next chapter is going to take a while to get up; it is a very big chapter with Annelise, involving lots of personal research on my end. So- I'm giving myself at least two weeks before I can even start to say I'll be getting a chapter up (you would not believe how many times I tell Jibbsgal1 I'm putting a chapter up and then completely disappoint her, lol. Like last night, for example. I don't even know why she puts up with me anymore.)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Smile, even though your heart is breaking," –'Smile', Glee Cast [I love their cover of the Charlie Chaplin song.]_

* * *

><p>"Jenny you're getting out of this house if it is the last thing I do," Ashley said, hands on her hips as she looked at her friend, raising one eyebrow, as if daring the redhead to challenge her. "I'm sick of not seeing your smile. I've got the kids, there's a town fair not far away. Let's go."<p>

"Ash, please," Jenny said, shaking her head slightly as she pushed her hair behind her ear, sighing softly.

"I'm not kidding Jenny. If I have to drag your ass outside with my own bare hands I will, screw your detail," Ashley replied, her gray eyes flashing. "I watched my sister do this day after day, and then she killed herself. You are not going to be Lizzie, Jenny, if it's the last thing I do. So get your ass upstairs, get dressed in something casual, and let's go."

Jenny's mouth fell open slightly at the harsh words, eyes widening. She swallowed, tilting her head slightly.

"Damn Ash. Look at you getting all bossy," she said, her lips curving upward slightly. Ashley rolled her eyes, hauling Jenny out of her chair and to her feet.

"Go," Ashley said, smacking Jenny's ass as she walked by, making the redhead glare at her. "You've got two minutes."

Jenny rolled her eyes, climbing the stairs and reaching her bedroom quickly, trying to ignore the voice that was saying she should talk to Jethro instead of going. It had been four days since they'd spoken last, and she knew that not talking wasn't helping them in the slightest. But she couldn't say no to Ashley, so she quickly changed into a pair of slim khaki cargo pants and a three quarter length sleeved black shirt, her hair back in a low ponytail, face free of make-up.

"I'm ready," Jenny called as she came down the stairs, finding Ashley waiting impatiently by the door, keys in hand.

"Good, let's go," Ashley said, and Jenny rolled her eyes, slipping on a pair of simple canvas shoes and grabbing a dark green sweater as she followed her friend.

The car ride was quick; Ashley was driving well over the speed limit, talking a mile a minute to Beth on the phone. They pulled up to her house and all four kids came out the door, like an endless stream of Green's. Jenny tried not to laugh as Ashley yelled out her window for Christian to lock the door, enjoying the energy her friend generated.

"Miss Jenny!" Giselle cried, her little face lighting up as Beth buckled her into her carseat, her eyes shining. "Mommy didn't tell us you would be here too!"

"Your mommy kind of dragged me," Jenny replied, making the little girl giggle.

"Well I'm really glad you're here," Beth said, and Jenny smiled.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Beth," Jenny told her, making the teenager blush. "And it's nice to see you guys too, Christian, Lilly."

The two middle children nodded shyly, their mouths in tentative smiles. Ashley started driving once everyone was buckled, letting Lilly pick the radio station because apparently it was her turn, and so they listened to a kid's station, some boy band singing about a love story gone wrong. Christian talked quietly about his idea for a science fair project, and Jenny mentally told herself to ask McGee if he could help the twelve-year-old. The younger man would like Christian; they had a lot in common, it seemed.

"So, Beth, did you hear from Georgetown?" Jenny asked, looking at the pretty teenager. Beth nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I visited with Dad a few weeks ago," Beth replied, playing with her fingers. "It's really pretty. I really hope I get in."

"Remember what I said- if you believe it, you will," Jenny replied, and the teenager nodded.

"We're here!" Ashley said, parking the car and pointing to the street fair that was across the way. Everyone got out of the car and Giselle instantly grabbed onto Jenny's hand, smiling up at her with her gap-toothed grin and making her heart hurt a little.

Beth walked on Jenny's other side, asking her the occasional question about work. They reached the fair and were pelted with sound; vendors yelling and children laughing and music playing. Jenny relaxed ever-so-slightly, looking at how happy the kids looked.

"Can we ride the Ferris Wheel? Pleaseeeeee?" Giselle asked, tugging on Jenny's hand as she saw the large wheel. Ashley rolled her eyes, looking at Jenny.

"Only if you want to, Jen," she said, and Jenny smiled.

"I'm ready when you are, Giselle," she replied, and the six-year-old's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Jenny was immediately pulled in the direction of the ride, laughing at the little girl's eagerness.

A worked helped them into the booth, shutting the door behind them and lifting them slightly, allowing the next booth to be filled. Jenny looked down at the little girl next to her, touching her hair softly.

"So, Giselle, what's school like?" Jenny asked, and listened to the little girl ramble happily about kindergarten. She looked so bright and carefree and young, and Jenny smiled, biting her lip against a sudden onslaught of tears.

She knew that the idea of her ever having a child was practically impossible; she was older, she wasn't married, and she couldn't put Jethro through something like that. And, she was emotionally unstable as it was; could she really ever go through a pregnancy? Was she really the right person to raise a child, in the environment in which she lived and worked?

But still, the urge to be a mother was suddenly overpowering. She wanted a little girl of her own; she wanted to ask her daughter how school had been, or who her friends were, or what movie she wanted to watch at night before she went to sleep. She was almost sure that if she had stayed all those years ago she'd have had the opportunity to experience all of that, but now it was too late.

"Miss Jenny?" Giselle asked, looking up at her.

"Yes Giselle?" she replied, tilting her head slightly at the little girl.

"I think you'd be a really good Mommy," Giselle said, practically out of nowhere, causing Jenny to stop for a moment, shocked.

"Why do you say that?" Jenny asked, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand where that idea had come from.

"You're really nice, and pretty, and you just seem like you'd be a really good Mommy," Giselle answered, shrugging. "Are you ever going to be a mommy, Miss Jenny?"

"I don't know, Giselle," Jenny replied softly, shrugging as she brushed back the little girl's dark hair. "I'd like very much to be a mommy, but I think it's a little past my time."

"It's never too late to be a mommy!" Giselle cried, shaking her head and sending her curls bouncing. Jenny smiled sadly, kissing the little girl's temple.

"I wish I had your mindset, Giselle," she whispered, hugging the little girl and enjoying the fact that she hugged back.

"I love you, Miss Jenny," Giselle said, looking up at her and smiling, her eyes bright and shiny, and Jenny's eyes watered.

"Oh I love you too sweetheart," Jenny said, tears in her throat. "I really do."

The ride began to move then, lifting them up to be able to see the whole fair spread out below them. Jenny pointed out a few landmarks to the little girl, tickling her occasionally to make her giggle, reveling in the sound. The ride seemed to last forever, and Jenny didn't mind a bit.

She helped the little girl out of the booth when they reached the ground again, enjoying the way Giselle's tiny fingers weaved through hers.

"What's next, Giselle?" Jenny asked, looking down at the little girl. Giselle tapped her chin with her free hand, thinking hard.

"Oh! Can we get cotton candy?" she asked, and Jenny laughed, nodding.

"It's been a long time since I've had that," she replied, already scanning for a vendor. "Let's go."

Giselle skipped happily, the skirt of her denim dress swirling around her legs. Jenny smiled, allowing herself to not care about anything else aside for this moment.

She allowed herself to really smile.

* * *

><p>AN: I know this is short, but I'll make up for it with next chapter, promise (also I just really wanted a cute Jenny/Giselle scene). I also can tell you there won't be Jibbs for the next two chapters, but then there will be a rather large scene with them in chapter twenty two. Thanks for sticking with me guys, I love you all!


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: This chapter took a lot of research; both from personal sources, and from the internet. This is a big chapter in terms of the future for Jenny, and the options she has as an adult dealing with the issues of cutting and depression. A lot more of these topics will be discussed throughout the rest of this story, and throughout a lot of Shattered as well.

I got this out much sooner than expected, which was nice, and I decided to throw some Jibbs in at the end of this chapter instead of waiting a few more. I think I've kept them apart long enough.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_I'm not the man they think I am at home," –'Rocket Man', Elton John_

* * *

><p>Annelise's office was warmer than Jenny expected, but she couldn't bring herself to shed her black blazer; she didn't think she was quite comfortable enough yet to show her scars to her therapist. It was only her second session, and Annelise was flicking through the previous meeting's notes to refresh herself before they started.<p>

"So," the brunette finally said, looking up and fixing her dark brown eyes on her patient. "We meet again."

"That is generally going to happen from time to time," Jenny replied, raising one eyebrow slightly as her lips curled upwards a little. Annelise let out a laugh, tucking her straightened hair behind her ear as she shook her head.

"A sense of humor I didn't detect last time- I like it," she said, jotting down a note. "But this session is going to get serious pretty quickly. I want to talk about your options, Jenny."

The redhead nodded, adjusting herself in the chair so that one leg was crossed over the other, one navy blue high heel-encased foot dangling in the air. She brought her bottom lip into her mouth, worrying the edge of it with her teeth, waiting for the therapist to speak again.

"I'd like you to consider doing DBT," Annelise started, and Jenny's eyebrows came together, confusion coloring her face.

"DBT?" she asked, not knowing what that was in the slightest.

"Dialectical Behavioral Therapy," Anne replied, and Jenny's face cleared slightly, but not entirely. "It's our practice's group therapy session. The other two psychologists, AJ and Lillian, and myself lead sessions with all the patients of the practice. There are people with numerous issues there, not just cutting- but maybe being around people who are dealing with the same things as you would be beneficial."

Jenny frowned slightly, her hands laced together in her lap tightening around each other. She didn't know how she felt about doing a therapy session with other people- she was barely comfortable opening up to a therapist. How could she talk about her issues with a group of strangers?

"You don't have to answer now Jenny," Annelise said, seeing her indecision. "Talk it over with Jethro; see how you both feel about it. You've got time to give me an answer."

Jenny nodded, feeling relieved, though there was a twinge of guilt as she thought about the fact that she hadn't talked to Jethro in nearly a week. She really needed to fix that.

"You would still see me individually," Annelise continued, causing Jenny to refocus on the session. "The DBT sessions would be on Monday nights, while our sessions would be moved from Monday to Thursday. If we decide that medication would be a beneficial route for you, you'd see AJ once a month for your meds, to adjust levels or try a new medication."

"Would medication be a good route to go down?" Jenny asked, curiosity rising within her. Annelise shrugged, tucking one foot underneath her body as she shifted in her seat, her purple pen tapping against her lips.

"It might," she answered, looking up at Jenny. "I'd like to have a few more sessions and get a feeling for what has the possibility to help before I make any judgments, if that's alright with you."

Jenny confirmed her words with a nod, running her thumb along the edge of her skirt, rustling the fabric slightly. She was reminded of her first few sessions with Alexis back when she was a teenager; she hadn't been given a prescription for an antidepressant until she'd been seeing her therapist for almost a month and a half.

"Meds won't make you instantly 'happy', though," Annelise said, regaining Jenny's attention and dragging her out of her thoughts. "They're by no means a 'quick fix'. Have you been on antidepressants before?"

"Yes, back when I was a teenager," Jenny replied, one hand slipping to the back of her neck and rubbing the skin. "I haven't taken anything in years though."

"Well, you also haven't seen a doctor in years," Anne pointed out, and Jenny conceded with a nod. "And there is a chance that even meds won't help with your depression. Resistant depression has been shown to appear in some people, mostly adults. And, as you haven't looked for help in a significant length of time, there's a chance that this is what we're going to have to deal with. And if so, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"What about sleeping pills?" Jenny asked, adjusting herself in her seat slightly. Annelise's eyebrows rose slightly, and she sat forward, tapping her lavender pen against her lips again, playing out a beat when she tapped the plastic along her teeth.

"Are those necessary?" the brunette asked, and Jenny shrugged, biting her lip again. "You know that there can be severe side effects with those drugs, especially when you have a demanding job where focused attention is a requirement."

"I think that it would be a good idea to at least have them for when I don't have work," Jenny said, though she knew that her schedule could easily get even more demanding at a moment's notice. "I wouldn't be taking them every night."

"I can prescribe you some Lunesta for the time being," Annelise replied, nodding slightly. "We'll see if that helps at all, and if we decide that antidepressants are the way to go, then we'll adjust that dosage accordingly."

Jenny let out a breath, her chest feeling a little bit lighter as she settled into the chair once again. Annelise tipped back in her chair slightly, stretching out her legs as she regarded Jenny silently for a moment.

"Let's talk about Bobby," she suggested, though Jenny knew there wasn't any way she could _not_ talk about her ex-boyfriend. "How did you meet him?"

"We went to the same high school; he was a year older than me," Jenny replied, lacing her fingers together and tightening. "He took an interest in me when I was fifteen, almost sixteen, and we started dating not long after that."

"When did it become abusive?" Annelise asked, steadily taking notes as Jenny talked, her purple pen racing across the pages of her yellow legal pad.

"Only a few weeks into it," Jenny replied, cringing slightly at the memory of the slap to her face. "In the middle of Lizzie's driveway, because I hadn't told him where I was staying, as my father was away on business. He got angry, slapped me, and then apologized."

Annelise looked up, studying Jenny's features intently for a moment. Jenny tried to swallow, but her throat felt thick.

"Is that when you started to cut?" the brunette asked, and Jenny nodded, once. "Why, Jenny?"

"Because it was the only thing that made me feel after he hit me that first time," Jenny replied softly, one of her fingers slipping into the sleeve of her blazer and running along one of her scars. "Everything changed after he slapped me. Nothing ever looked or felt the same to me anymore."

"Why cutting?" Annelise asked, looking up from her notes to meet Jenny's eyes, her dark brown eyes trying to read into the emerald green irises. Jenny bit her lip, rubbing the heel of her hand into her forehead and closing her eyes briefly to organize her thoughts.

"It was easy," Jenny admitted, opening her eyes. "I had a high pain tolerance to begin with; one slice of the blade through my arm, and I almost felt normal again- I almost felt okay. So I cut myself a few more times, and after they were clean and bandaged and I had a long-sleeved shirt on, I felt human again. And then, after weeks of that, I just couldn't stop. It felt too good."

"Why didn't you tell someone, Jenny?" Anne asked, the corners of her lips turning downward slightly, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "You didn't ask for help, or confide in someone?"

"Some of my friends knew, but none of them knew what to do," Jenny replied, shaking her head and swallowing, emotion thick in her throat. "My dad didn't know; I couldn't disappoint him by telling him that I was hurting myself and that I'd gotten myself trapped in a relationship I couldn't get out of."

"But obviously your dad did find out, and he got you help, Jenny," Annelise pointed out, her dark eyes kind. "He clearly cared about you."

"Well I'll never really know how he felt," Jenny replied, bitterness seeping into her tone. "Too late to ask now."

"I'm sure he'd be proud of the things you've accomplished, and the fact that now you're seeking help for something that is much bigger than you," the therapist replied, and Jenny shrugged. Annelise catalogued her movements and jotted them down, her pen making swift motions over the paper. Looking back up, she shifted topics. "How does Jethro feel about all of this?"

Jenny bit her lip, her face looking a little sheepish and mostly guilty.

"I haven't talked to him in almost a week," Jenny admitted, lowering her eyes and saddening, her teeth sunken into her lower lip. One of Annelise's eyebrows quirked upwards, questions filling her eyes as she waited for Jenny to continue. "It's a long story."

"Then I recommend you start talking," Anne replied simply, and Jenny pursed her lips together, nodding.

"I had a nightmare last week, where Jethro had Bobby's voice," Jenny started, her grip on her fingers tightening as she remembered the dream. "I pushed him away, even though I didn't want to. Then a few days ago, he brought me up to my room when I fell asleep in my study, and I woke up next to him. But I don't remember asking him to stay."

"How did you feel when you woke up with him?" Annelise asked, tilting her head slightly, causing her thick brunette hair to cascade over her right shoulder.

"Safe," Jenny confessed in a whisper, her eyes burning as tears gathered behind them. "I hate feeling so out of place in our relationship at times like this; I hate that I doubt both him and myself when I know I shouldn't."

"You know you have the self-confidence within yourself Jenny," Anne said, sitting forward, resting her elbows on the edge of the desk. "And you know that Jethro will always be there for you, especially when you're doubting yourself. He can be the one to tell you when you're being an idiot and knock some sense into that thick head of yours."

Jenny smiled weakly, nodding. Her eyes caught sight of something on Annelise's wrists, exposed when her jacket sleeves moved upwards on her arms. A collection of scars were visible, but Jenny knew they weren't scars of a cutter; they were much too jagged and unorganized. Jenny's cuts were even and equal and straight, precise in their making with a razor blade. The cuts decorating her therapist's wrists were thick and wide, a pure, creamy white- evidence of having healed a long time ago.

She didn't stare too long, for fear that Anne would notice, but she was curious. Why did she have those scars on her wrist? Was that what Alexis had meant when she'd said that Annelise was better equipped to deal with her issues? Had this beautiful woman been abused by someone that had claimed to love her?

"I'll talk to him," Jenny said, pulling on the sleeves of her own jacket to further hide her scars. Annelise nodded, tapping her pen cap against the legal pad that now rested on the desk.

"I'd like to do a joint session with the two of you some day," the brunette said, and Jenny's eyes widened slightly. The therapist saw the panic, and let out a laugh. "Not right now, Jenny. But some day I would like to meet this man, and maybe talk to him one on one. I might be able to give him some tips for dealing with your depression and how it affects your relationship."

Jenny nodded, though in her mind she knew that Jethro wouldn't go for something like this. He was uncomfortable enough with the idea of therapy; she didn't know how he'd actually fair in a session. She decided she'd deal with that when they came to it.

"I'll give you a script to pick up the Lunesta," Annelise said, grabbing a pad out of her drawer and scribbling on it, tearing it off and handing it to the redhead, who accepted it gratefully. "And you can make an appointment with Kayla, the secretary before you leave. I'd prefer if we didn't go more than a week between appointments, but if I have to I'll go up to two weeks between. I understand you have a demanding job, Jenny, but you need to prioritize yourself when it comes to your depression."

Jenny nodded, staying silent as she fiddled with the edge of the script paper. Annelise watched her for a minute before standing, setting down her pen on her legal pad. Jenny stood too, adjusting her skirt and jacket, looking at her therapist.

"I'm looking forward to our next session, Jenny," Annelise said, and Jenny smiled weakly. Tucking her hair behind her ear she nodded, saying a quick goodbye before leaving the office, exhaling once she'd gotten back into the waiting room. She made an appointment with Kayla tentatively in a week and a half, slipping the card into her purse as she walked out the door.

Leaning against the elevator, she sighed, closing her eyes. She replayed the session in her mind, thinking that this was hopefully the start of something good.

She needed something good right now.

* * *

><p>Jenny knew she should really wait until after work to talk to Jethro; it would be better to be at home, just the two of them. But she knew his team didn't have a case, she didn't have a mission in MTAC or a meeting with a Senator, and she missed him.<p>

So she had Cynthia call Jethro up and she sat on the couch, waiting for him as she leaned back and looked at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the swirls of plaster. Her door opened and she turned her head to look at Jethro, biting her lip to stop the smile that stretched her lips when she saw him.

"Hi," she said, standing up and meeting him, standing less than a foot away from him.

"Hey," he replied softly, gently brushing a strand of hair off of her face and tucking it behind her ear. She sighed, leaning slightly into his hand. "How was your session?"

"Good," Jenny replied, shrugging. "I have a prescription for sleeping pills on the weekends, and I'm seeing her again in a week and a half."

Jethro nodded, rubbing his thumb along her cheek, and remaining silent, blue eyes looking at her with a slight sparkle in them.

"I missed you," she whispered, biting her lip. Jethro softened, pressing his forehead into hers, kissing her nose.

"I missed you too," he replied, and she smiled, kissing him on the lips. "I don't like when I don't see you, Jen."

"I know," she said, pulling back and slipping her arms around his waist. "I'm working on it, Jethro."

The process was slow, and the results weren't immediate, but it was working. And Jenny had to believe that the process would work. It was all she had left right now.

* * *

><p>AN: Are any of you guys Sons of Anarchy fans? I've just recently gotten into it, and I was wondering if any of you guys had seen it! I'm more than a little bit in love with Gemma and Clay.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Well. I kind of suck more than a lot at updating this story. I am going to be a total teenager and put the blame on other things- mostly, Sons of Anarchy and Gemma/Clay. There is a chance I am slightly obsessed. Actually scratch that I am. And I'm sorry. Because I love Jibbs, I really, really do- but I just can't even begin to explain the way GC makes me feel.

I'd like to say I'll update again soon…but I'm not sure. I recently found out I got accepted into my first choice college (and the Honors College of the school, as well- a huge honor I never would have suspected I'd get), and I have a part time job (well, almost- I had the interview today and they'll be calling me within the next two/three days). To add to the annoyance, my Jibbs muse just seems to really, really hate me (and has abandoned me for GC, or just really, really angsty one-shots that hurt me to write). So, cross your fingers, and kick my ass if you know me well enough. :)

Also happy leap year :)

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_There's a little piece of heaven, right here where you are. The fact that you keep trying, is what sets you apart," –'Heaven (Little by Little)', Theory of a Deadman [My very close friend Kay showed me this song, and we've pretty much determined that it completely defines our relationship. And I feel like it works for Jenny and Gibbs, too.]_

* * *

><p>The bed was a mess; the pillows were dented from various head positions, and the covers rested around the two occupants' hips. Hands were linked, heads close together as the redhead dozed and the man beside her watched her silently, ice blue eyes lingering on her face.<p>

An afternoon of quiet time together had been needed; murmured talks and a few gentle kisses weren't going to mend the bridge completely, but it was certainly a start. Jethro watched as Jenny breathed slowly, her chest rising and falling and reminding him that she was alive. Her hands were soft in his, the welts from her desk almost completely disappeared.

She looked less stressed. Maybe seeing this Annelise woman was really going to help her. He himself had sworn off therapists since he'd been forced to see one after returning Stateside from Kuwait, and the experience had been horrendous.

But this woman had so far helped Jenny, and he was glad it was a good experience for her.

He brushed a piece of hair from her forehead, causing her to stir slightly. Her eyes blinked open slowly, sleep softening her features as her lips parted slightly, a quiet yawn escaping her mouth. She stretched like a cat, moving a little closer to him as she discovered his warmth.

"What time is it?" she asked, voice slurred with sleep, eyes still closed as she curled into him.

"Almost five," he replied, murmuring into her hair as he enjoyed the feel of her warmth next to him. "Hungry?"

"Not yet," she answered softly, one hand resting against his neck. She took a breath, body moving against his. "This was nice."

He nodded, knowing she felt the movement. It had been nice- but they needed to make progress. He didn't want to ruin the moment though- so he figured he could wait a little while.

"I'm supposed to call Patricia," she said lazily, lolling her head backwards to meet his eyes. "Do you mind if I do that now?"

"It's your bed," he replied, shrugging, and she bit her lip, holding back a smile.

"You're sharing it," she pointed out, emotions dancing behind her eyes as she tilted her head, red hair cascading over her shoulder. He nodded, conceding, but didn't trust himself to speak. Jenny turned, grabbing her Blackberry off of the bedside table and turning it on, the device vibrating in her hands as it powered up.

She took a minute to scroll through her email, letting out the occasional exasperated sigh at something she didn't like. Eventually deciding it wasn't worth the frustration she went to her contacts, finding Patricia's name and pressing call, putting the ringing phone to her ear. Frowning when she received voicemail she left a brief message, telling Patricia to call her back.

"Guess she's busy," Jenny said, shrugging. Jethro smoothed his hand down her hair, the red strands running smoothly over his palm. She raised herself up on one hand, looking at him with deep green eyes, looking like a mystery.

"You look beautiful," he said quietly, the observation coming out of nowhere. Her eyes widened, surprised coloring her features. She bit her lip, softening.

"Thank you," she replied simply, her eyes saying everything for her.

There were secrets, and questions, and problems between them. They were simply delaying talks that needed to happen, but in that moment they didn't care.

Because they were together and that's all that mattered.

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><p>"<em>Mary you're covered in roses; you're covered in ruin- you're covered in secrets," –'Mary', Patty Griffin [This song played during one of the most emotional, fantastic, <strong>f l a w l e s s<strong>, BEAUTIFUL scenes in Sons of Anarchy I think I have ever seen out of any show. This song hits all the right places, and is just fantastic. I demand that you all go and listen to it right now.]_

A/N: This was a pathetic attempt at a filler chapter and to get me writing Jibbs again. I apologize for it; next chapter will be much better I promise (hope).


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I'm not even going to try to make excuses- I just have no muse for this story. I'm giving myself until graduation to finish this- which is June 24th. I will have the final seven chapters finished by then.

I'm officially going to college, which is exciting. And also slightly terrifying.

This chapter is a flashback, but since the entire chapter is a flashback, I don't want to italicize it. But know that this is a complete and total flashback. This chapter is mostly to show a little more of the Jenny/Lizzie friendship, and Lizzie as a character.

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"_Her dreams give her wings, and she flies to a place where she's loved- concrete angel," –'Concrete Angel', Martina McBride [I don't even feel the need to say anything about this song other than if you haven't heard it you need to.]_

* * *

><p>She couldn't stop tugging on her sleeves.<p>

She was so self-conscious that someone would see the blossoming bruises on her wrists. Or the new cuts on her forearms, covered in a band-aid. The marks that showed her relationship wasn't the perfect, happy, loving thing she claimed it to be.

She bit her lip, tugging once again on the sleeve of her black sweater as she walked out of her math class. She was meeting Lizzie to walk to their next class together, and she didn't want her best friend to ask her even more questions. She'd already been practically interrogated by Rose first period, and she didn't have it in her to divert Lizzie's questions.

"Jen!"

She turned at the sound of Lizzie's voice, lips parting as she replied softly to her friend's call. The blonde bounded up to her, wrapping an arm around her as she lightly squeezed her waist.

"Wake up sleepy head, it's third period- you look like you just rolled out of bed," Lizzie teased, gray eyes bright. Considering she'd just spent the last period with her almost-boyfriend, Jenny wasn't surprised. She half-listened as her friend talked about the Creative Writing project she was working on, though her mind was once again on Bobby.

He was supposed to pick her up from school today. How much trouble would she be in if she had Lizzie drive her home; if she asked her best friend to skip final period and spend the rest of the afternoon at the park? If she just didn't tell Bobby where she was going, would he really take the time to try to find her?

She hadn't realized she'd flinched until Lizzie tugged on her arm, stopping her in the middle of the hallway. She was pulled into an adjacent, quieter hallway, back against a locker.

"You didn't hear a thing I said," Lizzie said, though there was no question in her voice. "Jen, talk to me, please. What's going on with you?"

Jenny looked at her toes, biting her lip to try to hold back the tears. She could lie to everyone- everyone but Lizzie. She couldn't look in those gray eyes and construct another story- she knew that the truth would be the only thing she could tell her best friend.

Lizzie's hand cupped her cheek, tilting her head up to look into her eyes as her thumb brushed away a tear beginning to trail down Jenny's pale cheek.

"You know you can tell me anything, right Jenny?" she asked quietly, gray eyes grown dark with concern. Jenny nodded, bringing one hand up to wipe at the tears that she couldn't seem to stop from streaming down her cheeks. As she moved her hand her sweater fell down her arm, revealing the large, purple, hand-shaped bruise on her wrist and the edge of the band-aid. Lizzie grasped her wrist gently, eyes widening as she took in the dark splotch on the pale scene. "Is this Bobby?"

Jenny didn't answer- she didn't need to. Her eyes said everything, and Lizzie gently released her wrist, face darkening with fury.

"Jenny, you cannot go back to him. Not if he does this to you- not if he's the reason you cut lines into your arm!" Lizzie cried, stepping away and pointing a shaking finger at Jenny's now sweater-covered arm. "Jenny, you aren't _safe_ with him!"

"I can't _leave_ him Liz!" Jenny replied, looking away and running a hand through her hair, the other hand pressing into her abdomen as she leaned forward, mouth tightening in pain. "Do you have any idea what he'd do to me- what he'd do to you if you so much as _helped_ me?"

"He can't touch you Jenny," Lizzie said, eyes desperate as she moved closer to Jenny. Jenny looked away, biting her lip as she closed her eyes.

The rattling of the bell signaling the next period startled them; neither had realized they'd been talking for so long. But both also knew they could never go to class now.

"My car's in the parking lot; let's go out the band hallway, Mr. Hallen always falls asleep on hall duty," Lizzie said tiredly, running a hand through her blonde hair.

The girls walked silently, taking a route that they knew they wouldn't get caught in. Slipping past the sound asleep history teacher on hall duty and out into the parking lot, they made it to Lizzie's small blue car and were out of the parking lot minutes later, speeding away from the brick building.

Jenny gazed out the window at the trees flying by, twisting her crimson hair around her finger. Lizzie was silent, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white.

"I don't want you to go back to him Jenny," the blonde said after a few minutes of silence, the road changing from gravel to dirt as she turned onto the old path, taking them through the trees to the old park that almost no one knew about other than them. Lizzie parked the car, shutting it off and turning to look at her. "I can't just watch you get hurt by him and destroy yourself."

Jenny swallowed, throat thick with emotion as she closed her eyes.

"He _scares _me Liz," Jenny admitted in a choked whisper, raising tear-filled emerald eyes to Jenny's stormy gray ones. "I can't say no to him."

Lizzie sat forward, taking Jenny's hands in her own, the skin warm against Jenny's cold fingers.

"Let me help you. Together we can get you out of this," Lizzie said, eyes beginning to shine as the possibilities came to her. "We'll talk to your dad, he can help-"

"No," Jenny said, shaking her head firmly as she retracted her hands from Lizzie's. "My dad stays out of this Liz."

"Jen, we need him to help," Lizzie said, eyebrows furrowing together. "You have to tell him."

"I will not be a disappointment to him," Jenny replied, eyes hard with resolve. "Keep Jasper out of this."

Lizzie sighed, rubbing at the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

"Jenny, please. See reason," she said, opening her eyes at meeting the deep green ones. "Your dad loves you- if he knew this was happening he would want it stopped."

"He'll never look at me the same Lizzie," Jenny said softly, shaking her head. "No one will. I'll always be the girl that let Bobby Austin knock her around."

"You're so much more than that Jenny," Lizzie said, trying to comfort her. "You're a beautiful girl, and if you say no to him you'll have a whole future ahead of you."

Jenny looked at her, doubt in those beautiful green eyes.

"You have to believe me Jenny," Lizzie said, slipping her fingers into Jenny's and squeezing gently. "You have to be strong enough to say no."

What scared Jenny was that she didn't think she was strong enough to say no to Bobby next time he came around.


End file.
